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Anal Fingering and Bump With Penis: Will Donate, Please Reply
Jan 31, 2011

am a 58 year old married guy with rare bisexual wanderings. I foolishly entered a shower stall at my gym with a beckoning 23 year old man from Guatemala 9 days ago. He was uncircumcised and his penis looked normal without a lot of precum(I am a doc). He fingered me deeply in the anal canal using hair conditioner (in the stall) for lube for a few seconds, then turned me around and started poking me on the perineum. I allowed perineal frottage only but once I felt his penis bump up against my anus with a little force. I think but the outer sphincter might have been penetrated for a fraction of a second before I moved away. It was a shock but didn't hurt. Water from the shower was running on his back the whole time. Afterward I asked if he was healthy and he smiled and said yes, that this was all new to him. I feel fine physically, but I'm scared out of my mind, can't eat and am losing weight. This happened one week ago. What is my risk? Should I have gotten PEP? I am so scared.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Hair conditioner for lube? Hmm. Resourceful, but not really recommended.

See below.

Dr. Bob

Vigorous fingering followed by anal poke Jan 29, 2011

Dear Dr. Frascino: I am a 58 year old bisexual marriend male. I foolishly went in a shower at my gym with a beckoning23 year old who turned out to be Guatemalan. After frottage, he fingered me fair deeply up my anal canal which hurt a little, for a few seconds(hair conditioner as lube), then somewhat forcefully turned me around and tried to insert anally. I moved so that only frottage on my perineum took place, but after a few seconds I felt a poke on my anus...not deep penetration, but a little shock, perhaps into the outer sphincter, which instantly made me get out of that position. I've never done anytbing like this before, and never will again. His uncircumcised penis appeared normal (I am a doc, believe it or not), without a lot of precum, and the water was running on us the whole time. I am sick with worry and guilt and am losing weight because of loss of appetite from fear, and even afraid to go near my wife. I asked the fellow after if he was healthy and he said he'd never done this before either, though I don't believe him. What is my risk? Should I have gotten PEP? Thanks so much.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

A 23-year-old Guatemalan gym-guy was suggestively beckoning a 58-year-old in the showers? Hmm. Now exactly where is this gym? I think many of our 50-something readers may be considering a change in their gym membership.

Your HIV-acquisition risk from your sexy-shower is exceedingly low, but not completely nonexistent. PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) would not be warranted for this degree of minimal risk.

You are correct in assuming your anorexia and weight loss are due to anxiety and guilt.

I would recommend you level with your wife if you have not already done so. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. You should use latex condoms with her for penetrative sex until your negative-HIV status can be reconfirmed. You'll need an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this sexercise.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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