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How do I support my boyfriend who recently tested HIV-positive?
Jan 29, 2011

My long-distance boyfriend recently told that he tested HIV-positive. He's getting a second opinion. I told him that I love him and want to support him in any way that I can. But I find myself constantly knocking on an invisible emotional wall.

I try not to worry and make this solely about me, but I need him to consider my emotional needs too in that I need him to tell me how best to support him. I worry that he's going to dump me because I'm HIV-negative.

Please advise me what to do.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

This is difficult to do long distance. If your boyfriend only recently found out about his positively charged status, you need to give him some time to adjust to his new reality. I don't think your "emotional needs" are the most important consideration at the moment. You should merely assure your boyfriend you "want to support him in any way you can" and you should listen carefully to what he is saying. He may well be just as concerned that you will dump him as you are that he'll dump you! Communication is key. Advise him about this Web site. There is a wealth of information here, including a whole chapter on magnetic couples. Discussing the information found there might help open lines of communication for you.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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