Therapy going Well for my Son - but we have another Situation - Could you please help?
Dec 31, 2010
I hope you had a nice Holiday Season so far. I have to thank you for directing me to get my son some therapy. Although he is doing so much better, we understand as a family, this will take some time. We have you to thank and We Thank you greatly Dr. Bob for your help!
We did have another situation come up and we would like for your help once more. It's weird - he does so good and then every now and then an incident throws him over the edge. Here is another one. Please help as we show him what your answer is, but we also do take this to his therapist so they can better deal with his situation.
I brought our son to the work place today as he is on Winter break. There is a person that works with us that has the HIV+ virus. My son was playing around in the warehouse and he scratched his hand. It bled. So now he has this open exposed cut. 5 minutes later he goes into the Company kitchen and turns on the light switch. He finds out that 2 minutes earlier than that, the person that has HIV+ at our workplace had turned on the same light switch. So he goes up to the person with HIV and sees that he has some cuts and scratches on his hands as well. He asks him how he messed up his hands. The person tells him he messed up his hands yesterday when he took down his Christmas Tree. So let's see if I can ask this correctly. So this HIV+ person used the light switch with his messed up hands that are not covered or bandaged. My son with a 5 minute cut on his hand, (finger) comes into the kitchen 2 minutes later and uses the same light switch. If anything that had HIV+ virus came from the employees hands(semen, blood, or anything) and 2 minutes later my son uses the same light switch with his cut on his hand. And the cut finger is the one he used to turn on the light. So the cut on his finger is laying over light switch right after the HIV+ persons messed up hands did. What are his chances of catching HIV like this? and should he test???
Thank You Dr. Bob, Gabriel
Whoops - One Last Question Please (Submitted Dec 30, 2010)
Concerning my last post -- How bout this so I do not bother you much. Or touching any surface with his finger after a couple of minutes with the same HIV+ person touchng anything as describe in my last post. Whether it's table. counter, steering wheel,, anything??
Thank You so much for helping out with our Son. Hopefully the help we can provide is by donation to your Foundation.
Whatever we can do. You're the Best!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Once again, just as every time before, your and your son's concerns are completely unwarranted and irrational. No risk! Didn't we decide that you were going to present all subsequent HIV fears and concerns directly to your son's psychiatrist, rather than me? (See response to post dated Nov 13, 2010 below.) I still believe this is the best plan. Should you send additional questions here and not get a response back from me, please know that I've read your question (I read all questions that come into my inbox) and once again determined there is "no risk" and that you should present the concern to your son's psychiatrist, OK?
Good luck! Happiest of Holidays!
Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Bob - Please don't throw me in with the Turkeys !! Nov 24, 2010
I hope you have a Nice Thanksgiving and may you be blessed for all that you do. One quick question for my son so we can hopefully make it through the Holidays as well.
I was paying my bills and my son grabbed one of the return envelopes that comes with the bill in the mail. He licked the back of the envelope to seal it and there was a yellow stain and a red streak and some red dots on the envelope where his tongue ran across to deal the envelope. He has bad mouth problems. (bleeding gums, sores on the roof of his mouth) His mouth is not really in that good of shape. Due to stress and the medication he is on. If the stains, red streak and red dots had anything to do with being HIV+ fluids (semen, blood,,, anything) . What are his chances of catching the HIV virus from this?
Thank You and Have a Wonderful Holiday, Gabriel
Response from Dr. Frascino
As predicted, you and your son have yet another concern. Please reread my last response reprinted below. My advice (and assessment) remain unchanged. You both would benefit from psychotherapy for HIV paranoia.
Therapy Update - And we Have only one person to THANK for all our Progress - Dr. Bob Nov 19, 2010 Dr. Bob.
I am happy to report therapy is really going well for my son. things are starting to come together. Thank You so much for your advice!! I know that this is going to just be baby steps, but steps in the right direction. I will keep you updated so you can see the progress because you are the Doctor that helped us out.
He did have one issue though. Door Hangers. We had somebody put some door hangers on our outside front door. I brought them in and set them down. My son got out of the shower. Again he has a pretty fresh cut on his hand along with having bad hands from nerves, (dots, little scabs and pulled back skin) and goes and picks up, and looks at the door hanger, asked what are these and where did they come from. I told him and he is now freaked out again because there was some stains and some red stuff on the door hangers. He again snaps and insists I ask you to help him. His exposed cut and bad hands did indeed laid over and touched the stains and the red stuff whatever it was. Let's just say the person that did hang the door hangers on our front door is HIV+. If the stains or red stuff had anything to do with HIV+ fluid from that person (blood semen, anything at all) And my sons cut was lying on this stuff - 45 minutes after I brought the flyers in the house. What are his chances of catching the HIV virus from this incident?
I guess this is a simple enough question to understand. Please help us once again with our son.
Sorry to bother you, but we will get through this as a family.
Response from Dr. Frascino
As predicted, your son has another concern. Please reread my last response reprinted below. My advice (and assessment) remain unchanged.
An Addition to my Last Post - Dr. Bob - Please Help me a bit with my Son. :( Nov 13, 2010
Thank You for helping out. I have to post an additional question for my son because he going nuts until I make this post. But first, A question for me. I took your advice and got my son in therapy. Yes, he is OCD but how long is this going to last before he gets better? I thought it was working until he snapped again tonight over another incident. I had to ask you those previous questions because he is just crazy until he see's what Dr. Bob has to say. I think he has been reading your forum at school. He has a lot of trust in your answers. I just hope this doesn't take years with his therapy. We never had this in our family.
Here is his question: After the incident with the hairs on his food from my last post. After he got done eating. He cleaned up. Meaning he took his wrappers and things from the restaurant and put them in the bag and threw them away. He has a bandage on one finger, but not the one with the cut on it that touched the hairs. Ok, so we had to make a run to the store. He jumps in the car and starts flossing his teeth. Now he absolutely freaks out because he now thinks because of those hairs, and because of the bag and everything that he handled. He didn't wash or sanitize his hands before he puts them in his mouth to floss. So he eats, packs the bag - grabs the bag and throws his garbage away. Now he is all wigged out because he didn't wash his hands before he put them in his mouth. He thinks the person that those hairs belonged to - and the person that handled the bag - What if the bag had anything on it that had any fluids that had the HIV+virus on it (blood, semen,,anything)? Because his hand and mouth are in terrible shape -- Open cut on finger and his mouth is in bad condition anyway. When he flosses his gums bleed. Now he is worried about HIV from anything that he touched. Like anything from the restaurant - even the handle of the car door because the bag had rubbed up against that too. So I don't want to go on and on with the condition of his cut hand and mouth because you can read that in our last post. After we ate it was like 10 minutes and then 10 minutes of eating time before all this happened from when we got the food from the place.
Once you answer this I would like to print out all the posts and answers you provided me to take to his therapist. I don't know the severity of this OCD condition but again, I hope it gets over soon. He is a completely changed person when this kicks in. We will see. I am going to wait till you can answer this for him to see, then back to the therapist so she can also see what is going on here. As for him getting HIV in any of this above because he didn't sanitize his hands ASSUMING there was anything above with HIV+ on it -- The bag, wrappers, even the car handle at this point -- didn't wash hands and started to floss right after eating, directly into his mouth -- in which he flosses so hard his gums bleed -- What are his chances of catching the HIV virus from all of this above if HIV+ was present on anything?
Once again, Thank You for all you help. Hopefully he will have a quick recovery and get our lives back to normal again.
With Regards, Gabriel
Response from Dr. Frascino
Back again so soon? Once again absolutely no HIV risk. I am going to suggest you address all subsequent HIV fears and concerns (and I'm sure there will be many, many more) directly to your son's psychiatrist. Your son has a psychiatric problem. He needs the help of his psychiatrist, not mine, as I am not a mental health specialist. You as the parent should also become knowledgable enough about HIV transmission to be able to quickly and definitively advise your son on these non-risk situations.
Once again, good luck to you both.
I Cannot Thank You Enough Dr. Bob For your Help and Quick Response - One More Question If I may? Nov 2, 2010
I am the woman that told you about my son being OCD along with a few other things. I am now going to seek therapy for him for HIV fears. They just do not educate them in schools the way you and I were taught. Never the less, I showed him your answer and it snapped him right out of his condition. I do not know how to Thank You enough so I am going to make some quarterly donations to your Foundation.
I have one more question though. A friend of ours drops off our mail for us at our door. He had put the mail in a plastic bag. Like what you get from a store and hung it on our door knob. I put it in the house and forgot about it for a day. After about, lets make it safe and say 10 hours - so - overnight. My son did not know what was in the bag. So in the morning he went through the bag and went through the mail. There was a letter in there from our Insurance Company and on the back of the envelope there was what look like a big yellowish stain and quite a long streak of red. Immediately my Son had an attack. Let's make this simple. If the stains that he saw - There were stains and a red streak - If what he saw was indeed any fluids that did contained the HIV+ virus and he had touched the envelope all over the stains and the red mark and streak. If that had anything to do with HIV+ virus, what are the chances of getting the HIV virus from this stained and red-uped envelope after it sat overnight in a plastic bag? He is very worried because he has an exposed cut on his thumb that touched the stains both the yellow and red along with everything else on the envelope. He was all over the mail touching it with no bandages. Again, what are his chances of getting HIV from this?
I am very Grateful for your help as right now you and your answers are the only thing my boy can trust and brings him back to reality. And now again he is deeply depressed and scared. He says because he touched everything without having his cut bandaged. What a waste of a good life he can have. Maybe because of your Greatness and because you are a Wonderful Doctor you help him a lot.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are truly a Kind and Compassionate Man.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Once again these fears are totally irrational and completely unwarranted. The HIV-acquisition risk from the red-stained mail is absolutely nonexistent. You can't catch HIV through the mail (unless you have unsafe sex with an HIV-infected mail delivery guy!).
I agree your son needs psychological/psychiatric help to address his irrational fears and HIV phobia. I would also encourage you to review the wealth of informant on this site, in its archives and on the related links, paying particular attention to exactly how HIV is and is not transmitted. This will help you help your son when his OCD flairs OOC (out of control).
Thank you for your willingness to make quarterly donations to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). Your compassion and generosity are warmly appreciated and your gifts will touch many lives in desperate need. It will also help promote HIV/AIDS awareness, education and prevention so that people like your son will not develop unrealistic and unwarranted fears about the virus.
PLEASE Dr Bob, Help out my son!! This might hit the TOP 5 - but for my sons sake - Please help this mother. Oct 18, 2010
I know this might be way out there but you can actually help (save) my son.
My son has extreme OCD. He bought a Pumpkin Scone from Starbucks. As he was eating it he said he hit something a little hard. He didn't spit it out he just swallowed it. Now he is in DEEP Depression. I don't know what to do other than to contact you. He is now worried that there might of been something that was on the scone or in the scone that could give him HIV. He told me he waited 10 minutes after he bought it before he ate it. If the server has something on his hand or if it was a scab or if it was anything that had any HIV+ virus on it, from any fluids at all. What are his chances of catching HIV from this experience? My son has very sensative mouth. Always bleeding gums and micro-scopic cuts from brushing too hard. He brushed his teeth when he got up so bought the scone after his brushing. Assuming it was anything that did contain the HIV virus on it and he waited 10 minutes to eat the scone with his bad mouth. What are his chances to catching the HIV virus like this if indeed there was any HIV+ virus around or in the scone-plus his mouth being in bad shape?
Dr. Bob, I will donate to your foundation and this is tearing up my sons life right now. He is Bi-Polar and this is really messing him up.
Thaank You for your Consideration and hopefully quick response, Gabriel
Response from Dr. Frascino
The HIV-acquisition risk from ingesting "something a little hard" in a Starbucks pumpkin scone is a quantum leap beyond completely nonexistent! No risk! None! Zip, zero, zilch, nada!
You report your son has "extreme OCD . . . DEEP depression . . . Bi-Polar." That's a nasty trio of psychiatric ailments. If he's not already seeing a psychiatrist (M.D.), he certainly needs one! These conditions are amenable to treatment with medications and counseling. No doubt he needs both.
Thanks for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's warmly appreciated.
Good luck to you both and your son.
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