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PLEASE MR. ITALY I DONT WANNA GET HIV
Dec 23, 2010

Dr. I hope you answer my question. I am 28 yr old bisexual male. I have never explored my bisexuality before, but I've met a good man who I trust. He is 54 and I am 28, and we get along great. I been tested and I am HIV negative and he claims he gets tested every year and he is negative as well. He use to be married to a female, and I was married to a female in the past as well. I've never done anything with a man, and he has only done oral with a man. We are thinking of having sex, and I will be the bottom. Well I know their is a lot of stigma out there about gay sex. Now I am trying to be as safe as I can. A condom will be used but what is troubling me is if it breaks. Its my first time and I know it will be tight, so I know we have to use lube, but I also heard lube can weaken the condom and make it break. What kind lubricant can I use? what other advice can you give me that will keep me HIV free, he says he is clean, but I want to be safe

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Oil-based lubricants (mineral oil, baby oil, etc.) are not compatible with latex condoms, as they can denature the latex, increasing the likelihood the condom will fail (break). Water-based or silicone-based lubricants are compatible with latex condoms. As for your first episode of anal sex, remember to take things slowly and that "lubrication is your friend!" Read through the information in the archives of this forum. We have chapters dedicated to HIV-sexual prevention and safer sexual techniques. Also, check out the related links on this site. There is a wealth of information here to help you stay HIV free.

Dr. Bob



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