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Afraid I acquired HIV
Dec 19, 2010

Dr. Bob,

I'm pretty sure I might be going to get it this time. :( I went to a strip club last night with a friend. We each had two-three lap dances (very passionate lap dances - they sit on your lap and rub a lot). Anyway, afterwards I decided to go upstairs with one of the girls for an hour - little did I know until this morning that I have a 4 inch tear in the crotch of my jeans - it's pretty much easy access. No sweat, right, because I also had boxers on? Well I just threw the boxers out because they had some tears in them too! So basically, last night while I had all these girls rubbing their legs, butts, private areas, etc. all over my lap, there was a gaping hole in my jeans and boxers -- nothing separating me from them in that area!

This is basically the same as had I been naked, no? Which basically means I'm at the same risk of contracting HIV from one of these girls who danced on me as if they had been dancing over me being naked (which in effect means... sex!).

I'm really worried.

-Sleepless in New York

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Sleepless in New York,

Actually dancing naked is not the same thing as sex. (Are you, perchance, the product of a Bush-era abstinence-only sex education program?) Even if your naked Bouncing Betty at the Badda Bing was grinding away on your previously unrecognized four-inch tear in the crotch of your jeans and similarly strategically torn boxers, this would not be considered the same as penetrative sex. You can't make a baby that way nor can you contract HIV that way. If my reassurance isn't enough for you, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The result will undoubtedly be negative. I'd also suggest you spend some time reviewing the wealth of information on this site, in the archives and on the related links. Pay particular attention to exactly how HIV is and is not transmitted. You should find the information equally enlightening and comforting.

Be well. Happy Holidays.

Dr. Bob



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