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I"m Confussed?
Dec 12, 2010

Recently I have broke up with a boyfriend that I dated for just a couple months because knowing that it wasn't going to work. I am very BIG on hiv prevention and always disclose my hiv status when needed. I am having problems with ex disclosing my hiv status to EVERYONE. I have the responsible to tell when getting into a relationship if leading to sex or even in general or I have the possibility of consequences. I have asked him to stop before when I found out he had told a couple new friends of mine that of course didn't know. Now still a month later I found out again that he told some others and I getting very upset. How can I get him to stop?. I know there is no law against this but I think their should be. Any feed back would be greatly appreciated!

Sincerely, SAS

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi SAS,

Obviously there is a very good reason your "ex" is an "ex." The dude is a scumbag! HIV disclosure is a difficult issue and one potential consequence is that a disgruntled ex might decide to disseminate the information. You're correct there is no law against being a scumbag. Perhaps cosmic karma will have your ex reborn as pond scum or a dung-eating beetle in his next life.

I've discussed disclosure issues many times in this forum. We have an entire chapter devoted to the subject in the archives. I've also recently posted three blogs addressing disclosure issues that can be viewed on The Body's blog page.

I wish I had a solution for your problem, but unfortunately none exists. That he is disclosing confidential information speaks volumes about his lack of character. Hopefully anyone who he reveals this information to will also realize this quickly.

Dr. Bob



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