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Strayed once last week and living with fear

Dec 3, 2010

Dear Doctor,

I'm a happily married man and I made a huge mistake as I strayed once last week as my wife was overseas. I went to a sex worker and she washed my Penis with warm water and soap, which was ok. She then washed herself with warm water and soap and then washed my Penis again with warm water only. Now I'm really worried if she's HIV+, could she have transmitted the virus this way. Your quick response will be much appreciated. My wife is back tomorrow and I'm in fear whether to tell her or not and if HIV testing is required. I could not find a related answer anywhere on the forum.

I'll make a 100$ donation right now.

Thanks heaps!

Regards R

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello R,

The HIV-acquisition risk from the wash-and-rinse activities described in your post would be nonexistent. But is that all that happened? It seems odd you would hire a sex worker for just this activity, but if that's all that happened, the only thing you have to be concerned about is not getting your money's worth!

Regarding your wife, I always recommend honesty. Even if there is no HIV risk, you are already "living in fear" and this stems primarily from guilt. Leveling with your wife is not only the best way to confront your guilt and anxiety over your lapse in judgment; it's also the right thing to do. If she's worried, you could always use latex condoms with her for the next three months and then get a definitive HIV-antibody test. The result will undoubtedly be negative, but if going through this exercise decreases anxiety and fear, it may well be worth the time and energy involved.

Thank you for your generous tax-deductible gift to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that you are now and will always be HIV free.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Carrying HIV Meds into US for 2 week vacation
Genotype/phenotype test

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