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My partner is the bottom and we have never discused HIV

Nov 4, 2010

My partner is a bottom only, when he and I met we dated for a few months then had sex. We never talked about HIV or any other diseases, I was surprised when he wanted me to enter him without a condo, we continue to have unprotected anal sex. I have wanted to bring up and ask him if he is aware of his HIV status, but have not, for fear he will think I dont trust him. We recently applied for life insurence and I was offered a policy and he was denied. Is it possible that he has HIV and I have not become HIV even though we have unprotected sex?

Response from Dr. Frascino


He wanted you to enter him without a "condo"? Well, of course he didn't want you to shove a whole condominium up his butt. Silly boy.

As for having unprotected sex, this is always risky business. As I have repeatedly warned, we must consider all our sexual partners could be HIV infected and therefore take all the necessary precautions to prevent spread of HIV.

It's time you and bottom-boy had "the talk." It's long overdue. This is not a question of "trust," but rather a question of "health"!

Is it possible your partner is positively charged and you have not (yet) acquired the virus, despite being Brokeback Mountain buddies and having unsafe sex? Yes, it's possible. Not every HIV exposure leads to HIV infection (thankfully).

My advice is simple:

1. No more unsafe sex!

2. Discuss HIV status.

3. If your partner is virally enhanced, you'll need HIV testing at both the three- and six-month marks from the date of last exposure (unsafe sex).

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

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