Dr. Bob can you help me?
Oct 25, 2010
Ok, well I am a fairly educated guy, BA in social work and psychology and planned on moving on until.... yeah.
Here's what happened, I was working 2 jobs 80 hours a week and by no means am i making excuses for my actions, but i went online and met this guy with "curious in ma" as his name. I said to my self hmmm ok cool curious i only had oral one other time in college with a guy I KNEW 3 years prior so, he asked me if i wanted him to come over. He said he was looking for a BJ and that he couldnt do nothing back cause he was nervous and didnt want to be "gay", He said he just wanted to feel it.
I met him, and he was quite a bit older than his profile stated (49) and he looked mid 60s and I dont know why but i still let him in.
I was sucking him (should have used my hands I know), and he wasnt even hard yet and came in my mouth. I, suprised said, u didnt even give me a warning, as i ran to the bathroom and spit it out and used listerine. when i said that tho, some went down my throat, I didnt think nothing of it, till 3 days later my entire family got a letter in the mail stating how stupid i was, how he didnt take his meds so he could be toxic, his mission to get young guys done etc, I went to cops etc they said sorry we dont want the case and laweyers, no money in it....
Anyway, 2 weeks later I got a severe mono like illness, swollen nodes everywhere on back of neck, drugged tiredness, oral thrush, confirmed with tests, and high temps, and drenching night sweats for 3 days, i lost 30 pounds from pure water diareha.
I been to harvard med school and she said it fit like a glove to hiv but to this day, 4 years later im still neg but I am symptomatic with constant flu like symptoms, reoccuring thrush, 4 x already, sed rate 30, pancreatitis, thyroid nodule (prolly from the inflamation), severe scalp and face breakouts, boils and dissecting cellulitis of the scalp rare pancreatic panniuclits on the legs that has cleared etc, now i just got diagonosed with moderate restrictive lung disease.
My dr is not caring and its hard to find a pcp locally (3 hours to boston), that will take my numerous probs
I am currently awaiting a result from NIH undiagnosed dept to see if they will take me.
My questions are:
1. How the hell can someone 2 x your age do the minimum to pass on a deadly disease , not do nothing back, send letter to family and me rubbing it in, and hoping i die young, without having a guilty conscience?
2. My wbc and lymph counts have consistenly been elevated for a year but it will reverse when my body cant keep up im sure, how can i get some sort of peace of mind knowing im ok? CBC's dont do it for me, they show i have something, but i want my cd4 counts done every so often and my dr isnt willing.
3. They think at harvard i have a virus but say its pathetic they cant find it???? But tell me Hiv fits like a glove. I even had HIV-0 done,
4. How often should i continue to test for HIV? since i think thats the only thing logical , as i was healthy before hand, (meeting him)???
5. How can i cope cause im in counseling and they dont know how to foucs treatment cause we arent sure what it is for sure , just speculate
6, can oral sex somehow take longer? and some people can supress, but usually still test poz but no viral load.
Can u help? thanks
CL in MA
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello CL in MA,
Sorry, but I'm having a very hard time buying your story. If someone was crazed enough to try to purposefully harm you with a blow job and was foolish enough to then send an incriminating letter detailing his demented dastardly deeds to you and your entire family, I'm quite certain the local authorities would prosecute the case. I would guess I'm not the only one who has had difficulty accepting the veracity of your story.
But let's assume your story, bizarre and improbable as it is, is true and you as a hunky-spunky 30-year-old with a BA in social work and psychology did have an Internet hookup with the psychotically demented sixty-year-old Mr. Softy, who managed to get you to swallow some of his purportedly HIV-tainted spunk, you're HIV-acquisition risk would still be very low. (One wonders why Mr. Sixty-Psycho didn't use a more surefire weapon and method like Miss Scarlet with the revolver in the study or Professor Plum with the rope in the conservatory or Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the dining room or even Mr. Green with the dagger in the lounge.)
Regarding your HIV tests, they've been consistently negative for four years! That confirms that HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. No additional HIV tests are warranted.
As for symptoms, as I've mentioned many times before, they are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected. I have a hard time believing you lost 30 pounds with a presumed flu-like illness, but that's beside the point. The vast majority of your symptoms and ailments over the past four years are not consistent with or worrisome for HIV ARS or HIV disease.
With that as a preamble, I'll turn now to your specific questions:
1. Once again I have a difficulty believing the story.
2. Cd4 counts are not warranted! The best way for you to gain "peace of mind" is to work on your primary problem: anxiety and irrational fears of being HIV infected. Your repeatedly negative HIV tests provide definitive and irrefutable evidence that you are not HIV infected. You should work closely with a competent psychiatrist to help you accept the truly wonderful fact of your HIV-negative status. Counseling regarding guilt and perhaps sexual orientation issues may also be warranted.
3. I don't think it's "pathetic" at all. I disagree that HIV "fit like a glove" and your repeatedly negative HIV tests confirm you are not HIV infected.
4. No additional HIV testing is warranted. You've had far too many tests already. You may think it is "logical" that you have HIV, but it is not. A negative HIV test outside the window period trumps "symptoms" each and every time.
5. I would suggest you show your counselor this post (both your question and my response). I think it will indeed help focus your therapy and speed your recovery.
6. No, oral sex is not associated with a longer window period prior to seroconversion.
7. Can I help? Perhaps. It depends if you are willing to listen to reason and accept reality.
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