Bottle in My ass (INAPPROPRIATE ITEMS SHOVED UP THE BUTT, 2010)
Sep 14, 2010
I tried putting a small shampoo bottle up my ass. it is only a small travel size bottle. it got stuck and im not sure if i should wait to let it pass or not.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You lost a shampoo bottle up your butt??? Hmm. Generally speaking, you shouldn't really have to shampoo your prostate! Well, I guess we can be thankful you haven't shoved the conditioner, hair gel and electric blower up there as well. (Have you?)
So long as there is no bleeding or excessive discomfort, you can wait a bit and see if your "No More Tears" reappears with your next bowel movement. If, however, you have bleeding or significant discomfort or if your butt starts blowing soap bubbles every time you fart, you'll need to see your doctor or go to an ER to have your beauty products removed.
Finally dude, if you insist on cleaning yourself inside and out, you might try an enema or at least a soap-on-a-rope!
I'll repost below from the archives another post about a bottle up the butt.
Can I get HIV from dried spit inserted in anus? Mar 8, 2007
Okay, I'm really worried that I might have gotten HIV last week. I'm so paranoid that I'm having trouble focusing in school and at work. Please answer this please!!! This is what happened. I came home from work and went straight to take a bath. My dad had told me that 2 of his cousins were staying the night with us. While in the bath I saw a beer bottle and decided to use it for anal pleasure. after having it been inserted in me for a few seconds (15- 30) I relized THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY COUSINS USED BEAR BOTTLE!!!! I immediatly stopped and threw the bottle away. I also immediatly stopped pleasuring myself anally. I'm not sure that my dads cousins have AIDS, but they are promiscuous and I don't believe I had any tears in my rectum or anus. However, 3- 4 days before this happened I had stomach problems and had to wipe my anus while on the toilet. I did this many times and by the time my stomach stopped hurting the area around my anus was very sore and I'm sure that i had a few small abrasians from wiping so much. But I do believe that these healed before my beer bottle encounter and the beer bottle was dry (the saliva was dry). Is it likly that I could have gotten HIV from this. I plan on getting tested but I need to know something while I'm in the window period. Please please please respond to this. I'm very scared and will never do anything like this again.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You stuck a beer bottle up your butt??? Hmmm . . . OK, let's review. When out drinking beer and someone yells "bottoms up," that's not what they mean, OK?
Returning now to your question, your HIV risk from your Heineken-up-the-heinie experience is nonexistent. But there can be other risks from ramming a Bud up your rosebud. So please be more discerning when choosing toys for your backdoor action.
Are my Symptoms a sign of early HIV infection Mar 16, 2007
Hi, I recently posted a question on this site about my risk of catching HIV. My post was responded and it told me I had ZERO-Risk! However, I'm still a little worried and want to know if the symptoms I'm suffering from are HIV related. My ZERO- RISK exposure happened 2 and a half weeks ago. My symptoms are as follows: 1. 1 day of diarreah (I'm not too worried about this becuase I had eaten spicy food the day before.) 2. I had a canker sore ( my doctor told me it was from stress) 3. Slight lower rib cage discomfort. 4. It's hard to explain this but my throat is slightly sore but only in my lower throat. It also feels as if I'm having trouble breathing. Like my lungs are trying to puch the air I breath out. All of these symptoms are very much mild however, I'm freakin out about numbers 4 and 3 becuase I don't recall ever feeling this way. Thankyou for your time. P.S. you might remember me "Heinikin-in the-hiny".
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Heineken-up-the-Heinie Guy,
Are you back again??? Exactly what part of "nonexistent risk" are you having difficulty understanding.
Dude, HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. Consequently, your symptoms could not possibly be HIV related, right? Of course right!
A Few more "What If's" and Risk Apr 6, 2007
Hey Dr. Bob, it's Hieniken-up-the-Hiny Guy again. I've been coping weel for the last two weeks, but I've recently put myself back into a panic. Please just entertain this one last question even though you've already answered me. Okay so the bottle... it was on the back of the toilet so the person who used it probably was taking a crap... so if a minimal amount of feces was on it and if the person using it had spit into it and had blood in their mouth is there more of a risk? Even though it wasn't used for at least 20 minutes? Also, I have a small rash, which my parent think is a heat rash, and a sore throat and a few bumps on my inner thigh. I'm so worried. I understand that there are many people who have questions far greater than mine and I understand if it takes you a while to answer this question but please do. Thanks, you're an awesome person!
Response from Dr. Frascino
OK, Heineken-Up-The Heine Guy,
Enough is enough. Looks like I'm going to have to put out a restraining order on you! Dude, it's time for you to see a psychiatrist. You are what-if-ing yourself right into the loony bin! You may think you've been coping "weel," but I can assure you, if you are concocting scenarios like the possibility of poop on a beer bottle that an HIV-positive guy with a bloody mouth then spit into before you decided to shove the whole kit and caboodle up where the sun don't shine, well, let me tell you, you don't need an HIV expert; you need a shrink's couch. Just to calm your completely whacko fears once again, see below. And why are you going to learn the correct spelling of Heineken and Heine?
HIV - top of a bottle Jul 7, 2008
Dr. Bob, at first, I'd like to congratulate yourself for the wonderful job that you do (I'm sorry for my English - I am writting from brazil). Here is my question: there's about a month that I travelled and spent the weekend at a hotel. There, I took a water bottle from the refrigerator and started to masturbate with it (I am a man and put it inside of me). I am afraid that someone (maybe HIV+) may have jerked on the bottle, or put some bleed over it, in the meaning that if someone used the bottle as a sextoy, it would infect the people. Do I need to get tested ? I arrived ath the hotel on a Tuesday and used the bottle at saturday Morning. I couldn't notice any secretions over the bottle. Thanks so much and greetings from brazil.
Advertisement Response from Dr. Frascino
You're worried about a water bottle from the refrigerator in the hotel room that you shoved up your heinie??? Hmm . . . just how much action do you think that water bottle gets? Do you need to get tested? No, of course not. I can assure you most folks wouldn't even consider mounting a bottle of Perrier or spunking up a bottle of San Pellegrino. Although I do remember another guy who worried about a Heineken. (See below.)
GF shoved hairbrush up my ass (HEINEKEN-UP-THE-HEINE) Mar 13, 2010 Hey there, just to let you know i think you guys are doing a brilliant job (you've heard this all before i bet, but only found the site yesterday)and especially was humored by the answer to Heineken-in-Heine question!. So yeah anyway, i was in the bath with my girlfriend one day and i lent over to turn the hot water tap off then BAM she shoves a hairbrush up my ass!!! WTF!? I was shocked and pulled it out.
The brush was a wooden one and it was the handle she shoved up there and not the brushy part. Anywho this brush had been in my bathroom for a while and whilst i know for a fact that nobody in the house would have done something like that with it and i did notice her washing the brush with soap and water just before she did it, as we were having a bath, but when i pulled out the brush it was, well, looked like what a wooden hairbrush would like if it was in the bathroom for a while. It looked as though maybe it was a bit mouldy from being in a wet environment but no clear sign of mould just a bit of green colouring near the bottom of it and if i remember rightly it may have been a tiny bit rotted from the water. Now i was worried and shocked by that part mostly.
Anyway, it happened about 4 years ago atleast and if i would have gotten any other infection from it i would have known as i have had my rectum and prostate checked only last year as i had piles. But is there a chance that i could have contracted HIV from the mould or rot from it? I know it may sound a silly question but i'd appreaciate it if you could answer this for me as i am a tad bit worried about it!
Response from Dr. Frascino
You were in the bath with your girlfriend and when you leaned over to turn off the hot water off, BAM, she shoves a hairbrush up your ass? Well, I guess it's a good thing she couldn't reach the toilet plunger or, worse yet, her hairdryer when she got the sudden urge to play hided the bathroom tools in your butt. Did she give you a reason she decided the hairbrush needed to explore your nether regions in such an intimate and invasive fashion? Do you perhaps have a really hairy butt that looked like it needed a brushing?
So this happened four years ago. Why are you worrying about it now? Never mind. Your HIV-acquisition risk is nonexistent. HIV is not transmitted by mold, rot or hairbrushes. Similar to the fears of Heineken-up-the-Heine Guy, yours are unwarranted, despite the unusual backdoor circumstances. I'll reprint the Heineken question below for the amusement of our readers.
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