Hair Salon follow up
Aug 22, 2010
I am so sorry to seek your help again. I am the guy who has probable OCD/Anxiety and think I have between 2-3 exposures per day of HIV, even though I do not have sex or do drugs. Most of the time I am able to just look at your responses to others or I can remember what you have said about others and I can quench the worries with factual knowledge and the anxiety ceases. These are all normally the same type of incidents that are non existent i.e. handshakes, food etc. I am building up facts based on experts (mainly you as I totally trust you and youre an expert in this field) so as soon as something happens like I shake someones hand for instance I can go back to your post where you say NON EXISTENT or I can recall it to my mind as soon as the anxiety clicks in and then quench the fear. To me non existent is the key, if you said essentially none existent to me that wouldnt personally help me, although I know you are a professional and you wouldnt say to me none existent over essentially none existent unless it wasnt true.
The main problem is sometimes I will get the odd one or two worries which take over my life totally and make everything a nightmare. These are the ones which are the main problem. You have addressed and totally quenched my previous main ones and that helped me so much I was able to actually able to get some normality back to my life and even go out the house. I am still having therapy although it doesnt seem to be helping, although I do not know what else I can do. Its a living nightmare. I have had so many HIV tests in the last few years. I dont have sex anymore or have relationships anymore for the fear of HIV.
I have spent about 20 hours almost straight, no sleep searching for an answer that I could relate to my other worries but couldnt find one, I wish I had asked you the first time you answered my previous questions but I was scared too as I was worried you might have said ESSENTIALLY non existent as opposed to none existent to these particular incidents. But I am prepared to take a deep breath and ask you, I didnt even go to bed last night looking for an answer that suited my these last worries. .
1) Not long ago I remember my hairdresser cut her finger when she was cutting my hair and she then went and put a Band-Aid on it (this is a totally different occasion to the last time I talked to you about). She was cutting the back of my hair at the time. I dont know if she sanitized the scissors or changed them or not. But it was a very reputable hair salon. I dont remember seeing any blood but I wasnt specifically looking. I then remembered that she nicked me with the scissors (this is also a totally separate occasion to the last incidents you replied too). Although it didnt bleed, just went red. I think she may well have nicked me the same occasion that she cut her finger. So now I am worried that she may have cut her finger then later nicked my skin. I am not certain that the incidents happened on the same occasion but I think it may well have been?
2) My ex partner whos 22 years old and told me they had never had sex at all before and had never done drugs, which I am fairly confident that is true. Well we French kissed a few times. But there was never any blood that I saw. I never get blood in my mouth or suffer from any gum disease and neither did my partner that I know of. I did get a slight knocked to my mouth but waited till a couple of days for it to get better before we French kissed again. I am pretty sure my little knock was healed and never saw any blood anyhow. When we did French kiss it was never rough or anything, really gentle.
3) I went shopping and noticed that I got a cut on my finger that looked like a paper cut?? It was not pouring with blood but I could see the blood in the cut if that makes sense. I started to worry I could have got HIV from something, so I went and checked all the places where I looked at i.e. around the items in the shop that I bought. Then I remembered I shook someones hand earlier in the day but I dont remember seeing any cuts on their hand as I looked the best I could and I dont think I had the cut at that time.
4) A guy served me food at a fast food joint and touched the food as he was handing it to me but I noticed he had I a cut on his finger but it didnt look like it was bleeding. I ate the food (
I know that I can totally trust you and you are an expert who I personally trust the most on these issues. So I know that if you were to say
1) None Existent 2) None Existent 3) None Existent 4) None Existent
to my particular incidents it would again eradicate with professional advice my nightmare over these incidents.
Once again I am so grateful to your help and my eyes were in tears almost that you took the time to answer me last time, so I think I really will if you did this time. I hope you can and I can have my life back and deal with this thing.
Response from Dr. Frascino
And Matt, as far as being a guy who has "probable OCD/anxiety", I totally agree, except you can leave off the "probably." I would suggest you show this post to your therapist. It seems to me that your OCD is OOC (out of control).
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