The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

many thanks - silly question by an educated guy

Aug 4, 2010

Hi Dr Bob

Many thanks for choosing to answer my query and to provide a detailed and reassuring reply to my concern. I read you are married too and you probably know how amazing the experience has been not least the time when you just got married. I am actually able to handle it psychologically as long as I know I was not at any risk in the medical sense. I needed an expert opinion based on scientific facts for reassurance and you have certainly reassured me. My personal GP, not an STD/HIV specialist, has also assured me that the incident I encountered in Tanzania was nothing to worry about. I must confess that I was worrying needlessly. I will move on from this incident and start planning for a family.

It is my pleasure to donate to your Foundation. Just an observation: reading about the number of queries which have also pledged donations, you should have a rather flourishing charitable foundation by now. Best wishes with the Foundation and in your married life too.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Steve,

Thanks for your thanks and your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( Both are warmly appreciated. Unfortunately when it comes to philanthropic donations there is a world of difference between a pledge and an actual gift. Many (many, many, many) folks promise gifts to my foundation in hopes that it will increase their chance of getting a personal response to their question. (In reality it doesn't, but I thank them nonetheless.) My volunteer efforts here at The Body are really totally separate from the work my foundation does. I encourage folks to make donations to tax-exempt charitable foundations solely in the spirit of generosity and compassion rather than as potential bribes.

Thanks again for your support and generosity. I absolutely agree with your personal GP that you were worrying needlessly.

Be well. Stay well. (I'm confident you are indeed well!)

Dr. Bob

silly question by an educated guy Aug 3, 2010

Hey Dr Bob


I am Steve and have a doctorate in development studies. I just got married. 3 weeks back, I was doing my fieldwork in Tanzania, and I had to stay temporarily in a dilapidated boarding house. There was only one bathroom and is shared by all occupants. During one of the mornings, I went into the bathroom to take a shower immediately after one of the black occupants. After bathing, I went back into my room. In my room, I noticed there were genital secretions on my penis including around my urethra. I just wiped it off and thought nothing of it because it could be mine. But now I have been having symptoms that I never had before in my life. I have terrible muscle pain all over my body, my bodys all warm, I have a terrible sore throat and my armpits ache quite often. I also have excessively dry skin, and feel very tired easily. I am slightly worried that those genital secretions might actually not be mine, and so it is possible that I could be infected with HIV because those secretions could have entered the mucous membrane of my urethra. It could have come from my bath towel that I had hung on the wall. I am usually a rational person but have become irrational after this episode. I have also stopped having sex with my wife for fear that I could infect her with HIV. Can you help me with some of my queries and help lessen my worries, please? Need some input from an expert doctor like yourself, please.

1. In a worst-case scenario where these secretions on my penis were not mine and HIV-infected, and could have entered my urethra, would I be at risk for HIV?

2. Are these symptoms at first glance consistent with seroconversion to HIV?

3. Should I do a HIV test, either medically or psychologically?

4. In the meantime, should I stop having sex with my wife? We are trying to have a baby. I have told her what has happened and she is worried about me too.

Thank you Dr Bob in advance. I read your archives, and I am unable to find a similar incident unless of course this is considered mutual masturbation, which you have explained, is of negligible risk. My wife and I have donated $200 to your Foundation, which is certainly for a worthwhile cause. Hoping to receive a reply from you.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Steve,

1. No. HIV does not survive very long outside the body. Also, this "worst-case scenario" is extremely farfetched and most improbable.

2. "Symptoms" are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected. Your current symptom list is not worrisome for HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS).

3. HIV testing is not warranted medically, but might help psychologically to put your unwarranted worries permanently to rest.

4. No, I see no reason to stop having sex with your wife. You "just got married!" If you're worried, despite my reassurance, put the baby-making on hold for a few months and use latex condoms until your three-month HIV test reconfirms your negative status. I do not feel this is medically necessary. I merely mention it as another layer of psychological security until you are once again reassured of your negative status.

Thank you for your generous donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-health/good-health karma that you are now and will always be HIV free.

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob

Known Positive, Though Undetectable Partner, Oral Sex Slip-up: Risky Encounter? (ORAL SEX AND HIV/STD RISK, 2010)

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint