re: concerned for our son
Jul 31, 2010
Hello Dr Bob
You kindly replied to my dad, Mike, and I sincerely thank you for doing this despite the thousands of questions you must receive daily. You have indeed given me and my family a peace of mind. I have also learnt my lesson and will try and avoid such situations in future. I am also learning more about the risks and transmission of HIV from your archives, which is both informative and funny.
You also suggested that I write in to you directly if I have any further concerns. I have been traumatized by this outing, and you are right that it might help psychologically to take the HIV test although not medically warranted. I have two quick follow-up questions after which I will be on my way. I do not want to take up too much of your time.
a. I read in the archives that there could be a slight risk from mutual masturbation if there is exchange of HIV-infected fluids. There were fluids on my penis. Is there still any risk here?
b. As I am going to take the test in 3 months time (long, long wait), do you think all will be well? Is it overwhelmingly in my favor that I would test negative?
Yes, my dad and I are very close, and we talk about anything and everything. Thank you for your kind comments. I do some volunteer work too and it was so heartwarming reading about your Foundation. I await your reply, if possible.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Good luck. Be well. Stay well. (I'm confident all is well, including you.)
concerned for our son Jul 25, 2010
Dear Dr Frascino
My wife and I are concerned for our son so I am writing to you for advice. He is a 16 year old student in London. This happened during a recent holiday trip with some acquaintances. Most were guys but there were a couple of girls. According to him, they did some stupid things like get naked and masturbate. He says that there was no intercourse and while some of the people had oral sex, he chose not to. So he was not engaged in any sexual activity except what might be called mutual masturbation which I read in your manifold replies that it is not really a risk.
My son is anxious because he remembers there was exchange of fluids during mutual masturbation and he had these fluids on his penis. He is also worried because he does not know enough about some of these people on the holiday trip. He has reasons to believe that some could be HIV+ because they take drugs and are promiscuous. I have asked a couple of physicians about this situation and they said there is nothing to worry about. I have also tried to explain to my son that since he did not have sex, he cannot have any STD. I have not approached any specialists and someone told me about you and this Forum. She had written to you several times, and your replies have always calmed her down. I thought if I could get your opinion and show it to my son in written form, it would help to calm him down. What do you think of his risk in this situation? I am also thinking, for peace of mind, to send him for testing. I read in your archives that 3 months is a conclusive test for HIV do you feel this is necessary in his case?
Your opinion would be much welcomed and appreciated. Separately, we are happy to make a modest donation to your Foundation. Thanks.
Response from Dr. Frascino
It's certainly not uncommon for 16-year-olds to experiment sexually with their mates and travel companions. Your son appears to have shown good judgment in avoiding unsafe sexual activity. You are correct: Mutual masturbation is not considered a risk for HIV or other STDs. If your son remains worried despite my reassurance, I would suggest:
1. He should submit his own questions to this forum further articulating his concerns.
2. He should be encouraged to peruse the wealth of information in the archives of this forum.
3. A single HIV test/STD screen could be performed at the three-month mark for peace of mind. Testing is not warranted medically but may be helpful psychologically.
Thanks for your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's warmly appreciated. I also applaud the open relationship you have with your son. Keep the lines of communication (and information) open!
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