|I wanna have a chance to choose
Jul 8, 2010
Dr, i'm writing, because i'm a bit confused and i need an answer. The last 3 months, i'm dating a guy, who is very nice and i started getting attached to him... Anyway when we started talking about our future(whatever), he told me, he is HIV+ with an undetectable viral load and i shouldn't be worried! we never had unsafe sex, but his actions and the way he told me(by a text) make me feel stupid and quite insecure. i have been tested in the past-neg and i think i should be again after what happened - what u think?. Btw guys give a chance to your partner or lover to choose what he wants.. Thank you dr, sorry for my long post.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Protected sex is indeed protected, assuming the latex condoms were used properly and did not fail (break).
Disclosure of HIV status is never easy. What is absolutely essential is that we assume that all our sexual partners could be HIV infected and take all the necessary precautions to prevent spread of the virus. (By the way, you did! BRAVO!) That way, should you find out a partner is positively charged after the first kiss or after three months of fusion-sex-shagging, you shouldn't worry. I certainly encourage disclosure, but it takes two to do an unsafe horizontal mattress mambo and each of us must take personal responsibility.
I'd suggest you and your partner take a read through the chapter in the archives devoted to magnetic couples, if you are planning to make a go of your relationship.
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