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I know I'm just being silly...

Jun 29, 2010

Hi Dr. Bob,

I know you've answered this question numerous times before, so I made a nice donation to compensate you for wasting your time. I'm straight, but I had one gay experience about three years ago. I asked the guy whether he was negative and he said he was. The sex was almost completely safe -- unprotected oral (giving and receiving), protected anal (receiving) for about 60s. He did not ejaculate and the condom did not break. (I didn't inflate it, but I'm pretty sure I would have known.) I've been in perfect health ever since, but I still worry, even though I know it's irrational. I am terrified of getting tested, because I live in Australia and the process involves a significant delay in getting results as well as mandatory pre- and post-testing counselling. I just can't deal with the stress. Do I need to get tested for any reason other than to convince myself I'm negative?

Thanks for your forbearance. This site is a godsend.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Anxious Aussie,

Yep, I've answered questions exactly like this "numerous times before." So much so I'm worried I may soon feel like I'm working for "The Department of Redundancy Department." My responses to questions like these, by the way, have always been the same. So you can probably stop reading here, but since you probably won't, I'll quickly repeat my usual remarks:

1. "Protected" sex is indeed protected, assuming the latex condom was used properly and didn't break.

2. Oral sex carries only a very low risk for HIV transmission.

3. Even if a dude straps a lie detector on his throbbing tallywhacker, I wouldn't believe his claims about being uninfected. We must assume all our sex mates could be HIV infected and take all the necessary precautions to prevent HIV transmission.

4. Since you are "straight as a lawn dart" but still wound up having oral sex and anal receptive sex with another guy, your fears may be exacerbated and heightened by the guilt associated with your "wham-bam-thank-you-Sam" action.

5. I believe HIV testing is warranted because you've been worrying about this for three years, even though your HIV-acquisition risk is low. (It's not nonexistent.) The odds are astronomically in your favor, but the only way to know for certain if you've contracted the virus is to man up, grow a set and get tested! Just do it mate; you'll be glad you did.

Thanks for the "nice donation" to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive HIV test confirms what I strongly suspect: You are HIV negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Standing up for what is right
Cum on Cut

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