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Please answer Dr Bob --

Jun 25, 2010

I have been reading your answers religiously over the past three weeks. I am scared, nervous and maybe irrational. I am not a good person so if you do not want to respond I understand.

I was at the strip club and got to friendly with my rented girl for the night. There was a lot of deep kissing and I fingered for a minute or two while she stroked my bare penis for a few minutes (she used her saliva for lube) and licked my left nipple.

I came clean to my wife. On a side not ¡V all of my friends (at least 5) that I told, all thought I was crazy for telling my wife. She is not concerned with my HIV risk but I am. I am sleeping in another room; I am not holding my kid. I walk around like I have been handed a death sentence. It has put a hold on our marriage and I have been thinking of leaving for a while.

My symptoms ¡V I have had a soar throat since day one through week 2, and a headache and stiff neck from day one through week 2. No fever or rash. I am taking my temperature 6 times a day. Are these symptoms of ARS. I am hoping these are anxiety related; I am waiting for the 6 week mark to take the test. I was going to take the PCR but have not cause of your previous comments regarding validity. Is my risk worth the worry? Should I take the PCR¡K¡K I have gingivitis ¡V does this increase my risk. HELP --- falling apart

Sorry Dr. Bob for taking your time from all the other people who are also in need of your services. I have been very selfish lately as you can see. Once again, I am not a good person. Sorry

Response from Dr. Frascino


I agree you are "scared, nervous, and irrational!" I also think you're being way too hard on yourself. ("I am not a good person . . ."). We are all only human. That means we all make mistakes and have lapses in judgment (even yours truly!). The important thing is to recognize our mistakes, accept the consequences of our actions and learn from the experience. I believe you have done all three. Your experience (kissing, fingering, and masturbating) at the local Badda Bing would not be considered an HIV transmission/acquisition risk. I'm pleased you leveled with your wife. It was the right thing to do.

Your symptoms are not worrisome for or suggestive of HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS). I agree your symptoms are most likely anxiety related. HIV testing is not medically warranted. However, since you have developed considerable guilt and fears that you may be infected, it may be worthwhile to get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark for peace of mind. I'm confident the result will be negative. If getting this test puts your irrational fears permanently to rest (where they should be), it will be worth the time and effort. Continue to review the information and testimonials in the archives. They should provide additional enlightenment and reassurance.

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob

Risk of infection (CUNNILINGUS, 2010)

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