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HIV+ life, here I come!

Jun 16, 2010

Hello Bob the Doc

Im positive Im positive because I can't be negative. Never had sex but I have done lots of solo masturbation in my life. Several days back on my birthday, I did a stupid thing as I was depressed. I saw a dirty towel lying around in my hostel bathroom, brought it back into my room, wrapped it around my waist and masturbated in it numerous times. It was like masturbation with my penis penetrating through a dirty towel that was filled with someone elses semen and blood (noticed it later on the towel). While sharing clothes do not lead to HIV transmission it seems, I think I have contracted HIV from this incident in a freakish manner, and more so, because God has punished me for all the years of masturbation. I will not commit suicide but my life will soon change forever! I will now experience the life you have been through, and appreciate it even more. So, HIV+ life, here I come! Thanks for hearing me out.

Bob the Stud (my first name is Robert too)

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Bob the Stud,

You think God is punishing you for all the years of masturbation??? Hmm. And people wonder why I'm sometimes critical of religion and religious beliefs!

Your HIV-acquisition risk is nonexistent. You may be positive you're positive, but I'm positive you're not. And I win because I'm the HIV expert around here. If you don't believe me, get tested. You should also read through the "I'm Positive I'm Positive" chapter in the archives of this forum where you'll find others with similar beliefs. None of them ultimately turned out to be HIV infected, by the way.

Finally I think we need to rename you from Bob the Stud (Stud? You haven't even had sex yet!) to Bob the Fluffernutter. It's far more accurate.

Dr. Bob

After 12 weeks of hell; Woo-hooooooo!!!!!!!Hoo-hooooo!!!
pleading follow--up from admiring colleague

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