I have OCD and my HIV fear is getting bad
Jun 14, 2010
So I go through about 2-3 panic attacks every day about possible HIV exposure. The most recent one is one that I have been dwelling on for the past few hours. This is what happened. I got back from the bar with my friends and just decided to go to bed since I was tired. I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to do what some guys do when they aren't tired and want to go to bed (ejaculate lol). I turned on my laptop, which other people were touching earlier in the night to play music on (maybe an hour or 2 before?). As i was changing, I touched the tip of my penis with my right hand through my underwear (boxer briefs) before I ejaculated in them. I know that it sounds kinda stupid but its something that worries me daily and i am seeing a counselor for my fears. Is it possible to contract HIV if I touched the tip of my penis through my underwear with the same hand that i used to touch my laptop that other people had been touching? What if blood was on someones hands or something and got it on the keys! A few days earlier I came back from playing golf and during the round one of my friends (who gets with many girls) hand was cut at some point in the day. We shook hands when we parted ways and when i got home i got on my computer to check my email. So I am also worried about that lol. I am in college and we just finished for the summer and this is not something I want on my mind. I am currently seeing a girl and i feel like i cant even kiss her b/c I dont want to infect her with HIV, even though I got texted last week and it was negative. What are your suggestions/should I be worried? I have a decent amount of money from a trust fund so a sizeable donation will be on the way. Thanks alot doc!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hey OCD College Stud (short for student!),
Fears that result in two to three panic attacks per day mean your OCD is OOC (out of control)! It must be incredibly difficult to endure such chronic and severe worrying. It's clearly having a negative impact on your life, not to mention your love life, if you feel you can't even kiss your gal pal!
Your concerns about acquiring HIV from your computer or a handshake or "burping the nephew" are completely unwarranted. But you knew that already didn't you! Of course you did!
I found your typo amusing when you wrote you were "texted" negative last week!
As for what to do, I have several suggestions:
1. Peruse the wealth of information on this site, in its archives and on related links. Pay particular attention to exactly how HIV is and is not transmitted. You should find the information enlightening and comforting.
2. Your current counselor is not sufficient for your degree of HIV paranoia. I would recommend you see a psychiatrist (an M.D.), as medications in addition to psychotherapy (counseling) may be needed to help you gain control over your fears and prevent further panic attacks.
3. Have a massive session of lip lock and tonsil hockey with your gal pal! You've got some catching up to do.
Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's warmly appreciated.
Good luck. Be well.
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