Sexuality and Oral
May 1, 2010
Hey there I am an 18 year old boy, approaching college soon. I'm very unsure on who I am, sexuality-wise and am terribly frightened of HIV. Its basically scaring me straight. I honestly have been in a couple of relationships equal number of guys and girls and have received oral sex from a male. I have also given to a male, but am not worried about that experience since the two of us had confided in each other about our possible sexuality and that we haven't really ventured. He was clean for sure, not worried about that experience. But I am worried about the male who i gave oral too because he claimed to be sexually active with a couple of people who in my book would be considered strangers. He was on this stupid internet site, with the only intent in hooking up. Isn't that just asking for a disease? Should I be worried about HIV with somebody who is involved with that after getting fellatio from him? I mean he started going down on me for about.. a minute? not even! I got so freaked out I pulled out and was like, sorry charley, I quit. I haven't been sexually active since, due to my fear of HIV and other STDs.. :/ Please I need some guidance on how to approach preventive HIV, and how to deal with this fear. I mean, I'm pretty healthy, haven't had any sickness for the past two years- I have never shown symptoms of HIV since receiving that slobbery wet-fest of a blow job. Please, I think I just need some guidance on 1. If I should test for HIV and my risk level 2. Approaching my sexuality? THANK YOU for even reading this, you're truly remarkable- love your responses. ;)
Response from Dr. Frascino
First a few facts to address your major concerns:
1. Oral sex, particularly insertive oral sex (getting sucked), carries only a very minimal risk for HIV acquisition.
2. Hooking up on an Internet site or in a tent at a fundamentalist Baptist sleep-away summer "prayer-and-purity" camp run by a bunch of rightwing religious wingnuts would carry the same HIV-acquisition risk. In other words, it's the sexual activity itself, not where you met your latest bedmate, that is associated with HIV transmission/acquisition risk. I know some prostitutes that practice excellent safer sex techniques, and they are actually safer to have sex with than a horned-up, inebriated, rednecked, gun-toting, god-fearing, Confederate-loving Sarah Palinista at an out-of-town Tea Party rally who doesn't know how to use a condom properly.
3. Regarding HIV testing, we generally recommend routine STD (including HIV) screening every 6 to 12 months for sexually active (gay or straight) adults (including horny college dudes). I'm quite confident your HIV screening test would be negative.
4. Regarding your sexuality, all you have to do is be true to yourself. Sexual orientation is not a choice. You can be scared into the closet, but you can't be "scared straight!" The Catholic Church and ex-gay ministries have been trying that tactic for years, and have failed miserably while making the lives of priests and many gays and lesbians miserable along the way. Gay or straight, you are what you are. Accepting it is a process, but I think you're well on your way in that regard. If you get stuck along the way, counseling can help.
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