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A different HIV and oral question
Apr 8, 2010

Here in Vegas there are a couple of mens spas that feature glory holes. One of my killer fantasies has been to go in the glory hole area and perform oral sex. I enjoy giving more than receiving. The two or three times I have been there over recent years I have had an amazing time (no ejaculations in my mouth,ever) but even though I know better I worry like crazy for the next few months and eventually get an HIV test at the appropriate time to relieve the anxiety. I have read everything there is to read about HIV transmission and oral sex. I am also in the health field and know enough about how to interpret these opinions.

I am a straight married guy but I am completely comfortable with my sexuality. I think about going back often but I am so apprehensive about triggering the anxiety that I avoid something I enjoy. Am I letting unreasonable anxiety prevent me from enjoying one of my favorite fantasies? Or is the anxiety reasonable? Should a fantasy stay a fantasy in this case? If the odds against HIV transmission are actually quite low I may "choose" to indulge. An objective opinion may allow me to make a more educated choice free from my own subjective worries.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Another Las Vegas "straight married guy" who loves to suck anonymous tallywhackers through a glory hole at men's spas??? Wow, you're like the fifth one this week. Is there a Southern Baptist convention in town? Or perhaps a GOP/Tea Party rally?

Well, whether your straight as a lawn dart or gay enough to bottom for Liberace, let's skip over that rather inconsistent aspect of your story, because you are "completely comfortable with your sexuality."

The risk of receptive oral sex is, as you state, "quite low." However, it is not completely nonexistent. Your risk may be somewhat decreased, as you have not sucked to ejaculation. However, playing tonsil hockey with multiple anonymous tallywhackers stuck through a hole in the wall at a Vegas sex club (I mean men's spa) may increase the risk you are sucking on a penis popsicle attached to a positively charged dude. This may increase transmission risk. Multiple partners and anonymous sex do increase risk for all STDs.

As to whether you should indulge your favorite fantasy, only you can decide what level of risk is acceptable to you.

I would suggest you level with your wife regarding your extracurricular activities. She may choose to use condoms to protect herself just in case "what happened in a Vegas men's spa didn't stay in the Vegas men's spa."

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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