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is love possible between a positive-negative couple
Mar 27, 2010

I have had a lot of health questions, but one question no one wants to answer since I found out I was HIV positive, is this one: is it possible to sustain a loving relationship if I am HIV-positive female and my partner is an HIV-negative male? My vl is undetectable, I am healthy, safe. However, my partner was okay with this at first, but the deeper our relationship becomes, the more stand-offish he becomes, and the more confused I am. I want to give him space, but I do not want to compromise my own sense of security and well-being. I am finding this difficult, because I am emotionally invested in the relationship, but I do not want to crowd him. I am not sure he understands how hard this is for me. I only understand a little bit myself because I was infected by someone who never had the guts to tell me, and he died because he felt guilty and would not seek proper treatment.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

"Is love possible between a positive-negative couple"??? Absofrickinlutely! Here I can speak not only as an HIV specialist, but also from personal experience. I am the positively charged half of my magnetic couple. Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum) is HIV negative. We've been together for 17 years and legally married for 1.5 years. (We got hitched before the evil Prop 8 initiative in California.) Communication and honesty are key in any relationship and is absolutely essential in magnetic couplings. I would suggest both you and your potential Mr. Right read through the chapter on magnetic couples in the archives of this forum. You'll see you are not alone and that happily-ever-after is indeed possible for serodiscordant couples.

If communication is difficult, consider couples counseling. It can be very helpful.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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