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Need your input, scared out of my mind, will donate today

Mar 23, 2010

I have an wonderful wife and children who I feel I might have put into jeopardy by a stupid drunken weekend in Vegas. I realize you can't diagnose HIV my symptoms, but given everything below, what do you think?

about 9 weeks ago I had protected vaginal sex with two prostitutes at one time. The condom did not break in either case. However, I had a small nick in my groin area from shaving down there about 12 hours earlier. It was not bleeding, but you could still see it.

I came back home, felt very guilty and started freaking out about getting HIV, etc. After reading many forums and speaking with an HIV specialist, I was reassured that my chances of getting it while using a condom, even with the small cut, was basically non-existent. This eased my mind and I was thankful that my mistake wasn't going to cost me everything in life. I then went back to life as usual and had sex with my wife several times.

About 3 - 4 weeks later, my wife noticed an oval shaped raised area of her skin, next to her vagina. She went to the Dr and they said it was some kind of contact virus and gave her a topical lotion and it quickly started to go away.

A few days after that, she came down with a sore throat, enlarged lymph nodes in her neck, nasal and head congestion, slight headaches and a cough. She's not sure if she had a fever or not as she did wake up sweating a couple of times, but when she went to the Dr again, no fever was present. A week later, she still had some congestion and the cough, but all the other symptoms went away. I then got a sore throat and nasal congestion, but no other symptoms. I was kissing her while she was sick, so I thought maybe I just caught whatever she had.

I then started freaking out again about the possibility of HIV given all of her symptoms so I went and got tested at the 8 week mark. It came back negative. I also did a PCR test, which I will get the results for in a few days. I was obviously feeling much better given that my risk was low and that I had an 8 week negative test.

HOWEVER, two days ago she started getting an itchy rash in her mid section, inner thighs and arms. It's lasted 48 hours and doesn't seem to be going away. Now I'm freaking out again. How could she have this many symptoms that don't really point to anything else?

I'm scared out of my mind and having problems functioning day to day as I truly love her and made a one time stupid mistake that could have hurt her and my whole family very badly. I know the only way I'll know for sure is to get tested again at 3 months, but what are your thoughts about the above scenario?

Is it possible it is HIV or maybe some other STD?

Your feedback would be much appreciated and I'll make a donation either way as your forum is really helpful to those in need.

Thank you!

Worried Husband and Father

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Worried Husband and Father,

I agree with the assessment of the HIV specialist: essentially nonexistent risk.

You are correct: I cannot diagnose your or your wife's symptoms over the Internet. However, I can advise you that with a nonexistent risk plus a negative eight-week HIV-antibody test, the chances HIV is the culprit are essentially nonexistent! I am very confident that your PCR test will be undetectable and your definitive three-month HIV-antibody test will again be negative.

"Symptoms" are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected. Stop freaking out! Chances are your recurrent freak-outs are related to your Vegas twofer. But, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! Despite this, I would strongly suggest you level with your wife about doubling down on the Vegas Strip. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that you are now and will always be HIV free.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

What is the risk with undetectable gay man?
Alqaed what do you think.

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