It's not just the physical pleasure that I miss,"it's the deeper function of sex ... our basic human need for connection."she said sex doesn't mean that much to her but before i found out i was pos we has sex all the time we have had sex once on our 2nd anniversary which was OCT.7 2009.So when i asked her she said it was mental so what do i do do i try to have sex with her or do i want until she's ready,what i don't want to do is rush her but i do want to be with her.

Hello,

Clearly your wife has unresolved issues with your HIV-positive status. I'd recommend couples counseling as well as talking about this issue as a couple with your HIV specialist.

Dr. Bob

when is the right time to start having sex again. Feb 12, 2010

I'm not sure my wife is afaid of me now that i'm positive,the last time we had sex was on our anniversary(10/7/09)sence the we have not even close to having it again,so when is the right time to start haveing it.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Communication and honesty are key. If you haven't had nookie since 10/7/09, something is up! (so to speak). Try having a very honest discussion with your wife addressing her potential fears. Couples counseling may be necessary if communication between the two of you is not good. Encourage your wife to make a list of questions regarding her fears and then have her meet with your HIV specialist. He may well be able to reassure her. Also, have her read through the magnetic couples chapter in the archives of this forum.

So when is the right time to start having sex? As soon as both you and your wife are comfortable doing so!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob