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big mistake in san fran aka some quick questions

Feb 27, 2010

Hello Dr. Bob

Hey doctor bob how are you. I'm due for my sixth month test now but I am too affraid to take it. I know its going to be positive. Because my symptoms didn't develop untill 8 weeks so my 14 week negative was invalid I think. I don't want to test again. I have swollen lymphs in neck coller bone and armpits a burning tongue tip with inflamed taste buds still today a 6 and a half months later. Last time I checked at 11 weeks abs lymph were down from 2400 to 1500. Cd4 was 840. I have had multiple pcrs out 10 weeks and multiple icma test out to 14 weeks. Why am I a late seroconverter. Is it because I was malnurished before my exposure. I can't go on. The anxiety of another test is unbarible. Well my offer still stands when I do muster up enough courage to take the final test a 500$ doller donation is coming your way. But I have a bad feeling you may be wrong about my case and I may be one of thoses extenuating circumstances.

Thank you Dr. Bob

: (

Response from Dr. Frascino


"I know it's going to be positive." I wish my foundation had a nickel for each time someone wrote in with similar assertions! (My foundation would now rival the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation!)

I fully realize that HIV testing can be nerve-wracking as hell, but just as you're sure you are positively charged and have a bad feeling about your upcoming definitive HIV-antibody test, I am absolutely certain you are HIV negative and I have a very good feeling about your upcoming test (and related WOO-HOO!). In fact, I'm so confident you'll test negative, I plan to advise my foundation that your $500 gift is essentially in the bank!

Regarding your fears, the timing of the onset of symptoms would not invalidate HIV-antibody test results! Your particular symptoms, 6.5 months post-exposure, are not consistent with HIV disease! Your multiple negative ICMA tests out to 14 weeks coupled with multiple undetectable PCRs out to 10 weeks are essentially definitive, conclusive and WOO-HOO-able.

"Why am I a late seroconverter?" I can't tell you why, because you aren't a seroconverter, early or late!

My advice is just to suck it up, despite your worries, and get your final test. You'll be glad you did. "Trust me. I'm a doctor!" Your WOO-HOO is waiting for you. So what are you waiting for? Get going!

Thanks for your generous donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( Your one gift will touch many lives (and will also rack up impressive quantities of excellent cosmic karma for you from the higher powers!). On behalf of the lives your gift will impact, please accept my sincere appreciation. I'm also sending you an extra dose of my good-luck/good-health karma that you are now and will forever be HIV free. (Please note, my good-luck karma has never failed! So go get your WOO-HOO! OK?)

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Dr. Bob, Follow-Up
It isn't Urban Legend, Dr., it happened (URBAN LEGEND, 2010)

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