I went to an hiv testing place and after the hiv tester pinched my finger and took the drop of blood he gave me a band-aid and while i was trying to put it -- i touched the bleeding mini-wound with my other index finger, there was nothing visible on the index finger but i had previously shaken the hiv tester's hand and he had a gay accent, so im thinking -- a gay man working on miami's Union Positiva testing center-- its obvious he had hiv or maybe aids, im thinking i also touched the couch, doorknobs and walls. The test was nonreactive outside window period and i feel so woohooant that i will donate to your foundation for your incredible services. Now i get sad again when i think of the puncture wound touching because now i might have to wait another 3 months! 1) Is a negative oraquick advance rapid blood test outside window period considered conclusive? 2) Would you recommend another test? If so, at 3 or 6 months? P.S. I have a lip sore and other symptoms. Thanks. 25 year old straight Kenny.

Hello Straight Kenny,

The tester had a "gay accent"??? WHAT? Does that mean he's from the country of Gay-fanistan???

Next, you were "thinking" he had HIV or AIDS and that you touched the couch, doorknob and walls"??? OMG! Actually, I would not call that "thinking," but rather "foolishly assuming and needlessly worrying."

Responding to your specific questions:

1. Yes.

2. No.

And Kenny, whether you're straight as a lawn dart or gay enough to bottom for Liberace, you need to learn more about HIV. In particular, you must learn exactly how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Finally Kenny, I hope you can understand my response, since it's being written with my "gay accent."

Dr. Bob