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Bisexual stress from HIV scare from Mexico City
Feb 14, 2010

Dear Dr. Frascino

Frist I'd like to start by telling you how much I appreciate your site and efforts towards HIV positive and negative people alike. You treat everyone the same and I can't have nothing less than sincere admiration for you and every member of the staff.

I'd like to tell you my story regarding HIV scares that have been present a lot of times through my entire life in hope that your readers may benefit from what I've faced and learned as a result of this.

I was born in 1975 and lived in Mexico City for almost my entire life. I've been bisexual since my libido first started to drive me to sexual encounters. I can't fall in love with men, only with women, but I lust after sex with men more than I do with girls and I always play bottom.

No, here we go with the scary/not so scary part. My bottom side is really wild. I've been visiting steam houses and dark rooms for 10 years now and I NEVER go bareback. I started using poppers on every single man-to-man sex encounter I've had for three years now and I've been penetrated by 4 guys on my wildest adventures. I try not to go oral without a condom but I've done it quite a bit. I'm very paranoid when it comes to pre-seminal fluid and I don't even let people rub my anus without a condom. I've had only one episode in my entire life where I've had someone inside me condomless until he told me and I made him pull out. He always used a condom and told me he would like to do bareback and we were pretty close to each other as sex friends, but I was pissed off to find out he never really asked to do it 'a pelo' (slang we mexicans use for barebacking). he just did and apologized after. That is my only high-risk episode so far, I can tell you. I've had one time when I thought someone at a bath house was fingering me with a bleeding cut open in one of his fingers But I'm not so sure and I went out to the showers to check if I had any blood left on my rectum and it seemed pretty clean. I've had guys I've met through the internet, on dark rooms, had sex on the street once, had a gang-bang with 4 guys going inside of me. But I always request a condom and I always use one when I go to bed with a girl.

As a child of the eighties, I grew up terrorized by everything I read about the virus and it's consequences. And the reason for this is that I started having sex at a very early age.

We'll I've had taken ELISA tests three times in my life and one OraQuick test. That was a year ago. Today I've got the results of my last ELISA and they came out NEGATIVE. I've been really careful with the way I engage in sexual activities, even though I consider myself to be a VERY adventurous 30-something bisexual fella. I've had lots of symptoms to draw conclusions and terror from rashes, itch with no physical reason, a violent flu, nausea, dizziness, you name it.

My point is this: you can do whatever you want to do. You can engage in your wildest fantasies, but still be careful with your body. Protect yourself and protect other people. There's really no need to put anyone at risk. I've gone through your (transmission risk) statistics so often I've already know them by memory. But the only real thing you can count on is your love for yourself and for the people you love. I'd just like people to think about it for a second.

I'm really thankful for your job and would love to assist you if you need any spanish-oriented help on it.

Best!

El mexicano

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello El Mexicano,

Your bisexual orientation is curious, because you "can't fall in love with men, only with women, but (you) lust after sex with men more than (you) do with girls and (you) always play bottom." Most psychotherapists would have a field day analyzing that!

Thanks for sending in your comments and your personal story. Thanks also for your offer to help with Spanish language issues! As it turns out, my partner in life and everything else (and also my legally married spouse) is Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum. He's fluent in Spanish and consequently he takes care of all my Spanish (as well as other) needs and desires (wink!).

Be well. Stay safe.

Dr. Bob



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