Scarred to Death of Togo Part 2
Jan 30, 2010
Thanks for your response!!!!
My first trip I was there for 19 days.
I turned down women daily apparently it is custom for the customer to hook you up with a girl.
I lasted until the last night..very stupid I know I was almost home free.
Of course alchol played a part but she wasn't a hooker, or she didnt ask me for any money.
No food was because I was in a remote village and could only eat eggs, everything else made you sick. (I lost 13 pounds 1st trip, no fat all muscle)
That being said I had a terrible life experience happen and yes I have been subconcously trying to off myself.
When I came to terms with what I did in Africa it became clear that I knew the dangers and actually wanted to die.
I have worked thru many issues on my 19 hour trip home and I have chosen life.
I just hope it wasn't to late to realize that no matter how bad of a thing that happened to me, even if I don't live for myslef ..I can live for my family and friends.
I am in therapy dealing with this and once my first test comes back negative (I pray) and the 3 month comes back negative I will greatly change my life.
Its been a hard three years but I am ready to stop living a destructive life and try to push foward.
Thanks again for responding.
FYI I go back to Togo 3 more times this year and I plan on touching nothing no matter what.
Response from Dr. Frascino
I would suggest you share these posts with your therapist. It may help focus your treatment and speed your recovery. I'm glad you are getting psychotherapy. It's definitely warranted.
Good luck. Be well.
Scared to Death of Togo Jan 28, 2010
I traveled to Togo Africa for work recently ( 2 trips). I was aware that they are number 5 in the owrld for hiv. I was scared to death to touch any women. My first trip I gave in at the end, due to lack of food, and basicaly a subconcouis death wish. I used a condem but not for receiving a little oral sex, and the condom did break I probably thrusted three times before I noticed. My 1st question is the women would have to have a open soar in her mouth and I would need a cut on my mr happy to be at risk with this oral. Also when the condom broke and I was in their for a minute or so how much danger am I in. Im not sure if 3 secs of unprotected sex is as bad as a hour or so. Also even though you wear a condom you always get vaginal fluid on your scrtoum or else where. How dangerous is this fluid. Ie if you get it on your scrotum you are at risk. Or you need a cut on your scrotum for it to be risky. I completely understand that having sex with two people in africa espically Togo was the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life. I typicaly get tested every three months due too multiple partners. My first sexual encounter in Africa was a month ago and I got tested yesterday. My last encounter was a week ago and I plan on getting tested every month for the next 6 months wether my doctor likes it or not. I also plan on not having and sexy for at least three months. Sorry to ramble but I am scarred to death and have convinced myself I got infected. Thanks for your help and advice, and pray for me :)
Response from Dr. Frascino
Let me get this straight. You were "scared to death to touch any women" during your recent business trips to Togo, because there is a high prevalence of HIV/AIDS in that country. But despite these fears, on your very first trip you hooked up with a hooker because you were hungry and had a "subconcouis" death wish??? Hungry???? Subconcouis death wish??? OK, if you say so. Most folks with those cravings would have just driven to the golden arches and ordered a Big Mac, large greasy fries and a milk shake. But to each his own, right?
Regarding your HIV-acquisition risk, oral sex carries only a very small risk for HIV transmission. Open sores and concurrent infection could increase HIV-transmission risks from oral sex. Broken-condom sex is essentially equivalent to unprotected sex. Certainly briefer is less risky than prolonged exposure. Vaginal fluids on the scrotum (or elsewhere) are not considered to be a significant HIV risk, assuming the affected skin is intact and you have not had an outbreak of herpes at that spot.
Regarding HIV testing, getting an HIV-antibody test every month for six months is not recommended or necessary. Excessive testing could lead to false-positive test results. I'd recommend you stick to the guidelines and get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark.
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