Okay, well, she wasn't really, but she was a smoking 23 yo Brazilian student making ends meet by being an escort at night. That was her story anyways.

So, I'm on a business trip 3 months ago and stupidly, drank too much (don't these stories always seem to start this way?) and she ended up in my hotel room. She put the tip of my penis in her mouth for about two seconds before I stopped her and asked her to use protection, which she did. The protected oral lasted for like 5 minutes. When I finished, round two was protected vaginal sex for another 5 minutes (did I mention she was very very smoking hot?). No condom breakage either time.

Anyways, I think I'm in the clear here with zero need for any kind of testing. Please confirm there was no risk here and testing would only be to eliminate any lingering and unwarranted paranoia. Based on my reading, HIV can't be transmitted by this episode and other STDs, while they can be trasmitted orally, would be highly unlikely and furthermore, by now I would have almost certainly seen symptoms (and there have been none).

Thanks doc, you're doing great work. Anyway I can donate anonomously?

Hi,

Despite the smoky hotness of your hooker, I mean starving student, no, I mean hooker, you did not get burned! I agree with your assessment. HIV testing is not medically warranted and STDs would be extremely unlikely at this point.

Anonymous donations to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation can be made by sending cash or cashier's checks.

Be well. Stay well. Don't ever get burned, OK?

Dr. Bob