Dear dr Robert, I am hiv possitive and have been on drugs for 7yrs now.my cd4 is 790 and my viral load below 40 copies.recently i fell in love with a man,although i've not told him my status but for 3 months now we've been having protected sex.is it safe for us to continue?He requests we both get tested but i am scared since i know what the outcome will be.pls let me know if i need to breakup with him at once for fear of infecting him and if it is safe for us to keep having protected sex.Also if i want to disclose to him now how do i go about it?I need urgent answers please because i need to make serious decisions.

Hello,

Disclosure is never easy and each situation is unique. Your situation is another example of why I recommend HIVers disclose their status sooner rather than later. It actually becomes more difficult as time goes on. Nondisclosure is actually illegal in some states. (I strongly disagree with criminalizing HIV nondisclosure.)

My advice is that you have "the talk" with your Mr. Right. The best tact is pure and total honesty. He may bolt because he no longer trusts you. That's a risk you'll have to take. On the other hand, once he gets over his shock, he just may become your Mr. Happily Ever After. I suggest you read through the chapter in the archives of this forum devoted to disclosure. Hopefully you'll find the information there useful.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob