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another oral sex and PEP question. Would appreciate a response

Dec 27, 2009

Dr. Bob,

Merry Christmas! Hope the holiday season finds you well. I have my doubts that I will receive an answer to this today as I am sure you are with loved ones. However I will keep my fingers crossed.

I have used this forum once before and asked the most ridiculous question while coming to grips with my sexuality. You answered with the perfect mix of intelligence, wisdom, and correction And so my question: I met a guy and we went home together. Not much transpired. Lots of kissing and fondling. Mutual masturbation and then he began to blow me. Trying to be a responsible adult I stopped him pretty quickly as I didn't know where this was going. I asked him if he knew his status.

He informed he always used a condom but then informed me he was HIV+ I have to admit that that ended the physical session. I just needed time to process that. We spent a lot of time together that day and he said he was undetectable at this time.

I have read many of the answers on this forum. And I probably know the answer however it is always comforting to hear from the professional. I read that the insertive partner (myself) is at a very low risk because you are virtually exposed to only saliva. I also know that kissing and mutual masturbation is a safe practice.

I know that you can't rule out anything but am I safe to assume that my risk is VERY low? Should I seek PEP treatment? And finally, should I discontinue safe sexual activity until a 3 month definitive test?

Thank you for everything you do. A donation is coming as soon as I can get to my laptop versus my smart phone. Finally, how would I suggest I get involved in helping to spread the message of safe sex and HIV prevention. I feel as a sexually active gay male it is my responsibility.


A Florida

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi A in Florida,

Welcome back to the forum.

You claim you ". . . asked the most ridiculous question . . . ." Well A, I don't remember your initial question exactly, but I highly doubt it qualified as "the most ridiculous question" I've received! Have you seen some of the nutty stuff that comes my way? Some of these whacked-out loony-tuners are flakier than Xmas pie crust.

Next, you write that you and Mr. Dudly McStudly began manhandling each other's manhood while playing kissy-face and then he began sucking on your big bopper, but you stopped him because you didn't know where this was going??? Hmm. Didn't know where it was going???? If I had to take a wild guess, I doubt he was attempting to ask you to help him with the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.

Finally, we get to your statement: "And I probably know the answer. . . ." If indeed you "read many of the answers in this forum," I, too, would assume you know exactly what my response to your question will be, as I certainly am consistent in my replies. So here ya go A:

1. Yes, your HIV-acquisition risk from insertive oral sex with a positively charged Dudly McStudly is very low.

2. PEP would not be warranted.

3. ". . . Should I discontinue safe sexual activity until a three-month definitive test?" Hmm. "Discontinue safe sexual activity" and replace it with what? Unsafe sexual activity??? I see no reason for you (or anyone) to discontinue safer sexual activity.

Thanks for your tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return, I'm sending my good-luck karma that your definitive three-month HIV test is negative. I'm very confident it indeed will be negative.

As for getting involved in promoting HIV/AIDS education, awareness and prevention, try calling your local AIDS service organizations. (Just Google AIDS service organizations and the name of your city or town and a list will pop up.) There are usually a variety of volunteer opportunities from which to choose. Thank you for your willingness to help turn the tide on this pandemic. If we all did our part we could stop HIV cold in its tracks!

Be well A. Happy Healthy Holidays.

Dr. Bob

do you have the guts to comment on this?

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