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Arguments in favor of abstinence (from a gay man)

Dec 10, 2009

Hello Dr. Frascino. I am a gay man who is very concern about STDs specially AIDS. I always try to practice safer sex, but things not always happens as I planned. For instance, I have had annal intercourse (I am passive) with condoms, but my partner enjoys frotagging around my anus and that envolves a tiny risk. I usually demand condoms before giving a bj, but last night I gave oral sex without allowing my partner to ejaculate in my mouth, but I am sure I was in contact with his precum. Therefore, having sex always envolves risks, some of them are minimal others not. The more precautions you take, the less enjoyable is. It is like eating healthy food, the more healthy it is, the less tasty is. That it is why, from now on I will only masturbate. It is the only practice that entails zero risks. Bush was right, abstinence is the way to go, specially if you do not want to spend the next three months biting your fingernails waiting for getting tested. I cross my fingers for the scientist to find the cure of this disease soon, so I can have a normal life. sincerely Bitter and Gay

Response from Dr. Frascino


"Bitter and gay"??? What kind of combination is that? Merry and gay, happy and gay, even fabulous and gay make so much more sense. It seems to me you are more "horny/frustrated/anxious and gay," rather than "bitter and gay."

Also, the words "Bush" and "was right," absolutely, positively and definitely do not belong in the same sentence (or paragraph or universe!!!). No way! No how! History is correctly tagging Bush with the "worst president ever" title for his amazingly consistent "reign of error"!

You are correct: If you only "burp the nephew," you will have "zero risk" of contracting HIV. I also agree this is not a "normal life"!!! Your fears of contracting HIV are blown way out of proportion to the actual risk! Do you refuse to walk outside in the rain, because you might be zapped dead by an errant lightening bolt? I would suggest you consider getting counseling for your irrational fears related to HIV/AIDS. Certainly without a normal, healthy, passionate sex life, someone really could become bitter! Sex is supposed to be (and can be) fun, not anxiety provoking!

Hope you'll soon be signing off as "sexually content and gay."

Dr. Bob

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young and blue in the city III

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