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WILL DONATE $ anxiety or infected?8 months anxiety +guilt or late seroconverter?.sick and tired of waking up

Nov 30, 2009


for the last 8 months i have lived in fear.i was on deployment and i had sex with a csw in thailand(worried about hiv subtypes) and every since then i have been worried about hiv.i have tested negative every time for the last 6 months(navy and home acsess tests)

but my wife has had unexplained illnesses over the last 2 months.2 months ago she was sick with what the doctor said was tonsilitus.then last week she had fever and joint pain for 1 night,previous to that she was having nausea for 2 days.

now she is complaining of a sore mouth which is a symptom of thrush.

doc,i have been hurting for the last 8 months.i am sick of this.i cant tell my wife that i cheated on her and that she might have hiv.not because im scared that she'll leave me,but because i dont want her to fear like i have.

do you think i have just have anxiety?or do you think i should get a viral load test to be sure?

i have had a million tests.all you think that for some reason my body isnt producing antibodies?

i excercise every day,religously.i smoke a little bit but its not a problem.the only thing i do unhealthy is drink diet soda on a prolific level.about 8 or 9 a there any reason why i would be a late seroconverter?

i know you here this alot;but i am on my last straw.I CAN LIVE WITH HIV,BUT I CAN NOT LIVE WITH KNOWING THAT I GAVE SOME ONE THAT LOVES ME HIV.

ive got $100 to donate.i just need advice on what to do.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Your repeatedly negative "million tests" over the past eight months are definitive, conclusive and highly excessive. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. No additional HIV tests, including viral load tests, are warranted. Your chances of being a delayed seroconverter are nonexistent.

Your wife's symptoms are not worrisome for or suggestive of HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS).

My advice is simple:

Stop making excuses and level with your wife. It's not only the best way to deal with your guilt, but it's also the right thing to do. (If the situation were reversed, wouldn't you want to know?)

If your anxiety does not resolve once your guilt has lifted, you should seek psychological counseling to help control your irrational fears and anxiety. Counseling and/or anti-anxiety medication can be very helpful.

For general health reasons, I strongly advise you quit smoking (even if you smoke just "a little bit") and cut back dramatically on the diet soda drinks (substitute water).

Thank you for your tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated during this Thanksgiving season.

Be well. Stop worrying. Remember, HIV is not your problem, OK?

Dr. Bob

thanks for the reply

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