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Terrified5: HIV symptoms after Oral Sex and Fingering

Nov 27, 2009

Dr Bob, I an new to yoru site. I an/was a HIV - man. On Oct 29, I went to a strip club. The dancer/CSW said, "Everything I do is protected, I value my life." In my drunken state I exercised extremely poor judgement. She placed a condom on me and performed oral sex very briefly and masturbated me. While doing so, I sucked on her breast and inserted my finger in her vagina and masterbated her. (I am concerned about possible cracks that I had in my cuticles/minor cuts as a day later a piece of frayed cuticle broke off and the same finger bled.) Addtionally, there was some light kissing.

I have been terrified and overcome with guilt since the episode. Wihin 2 days after the encounter, I felt like I had mild flue, eyes burning, light chills and significant fatigue. (Over the course of the next 5 - 7 days, I experienced short perids of light nausea as well and a general ill feeling/periodic chills.) By Nov. 3, these symtpoms began to gradually diminish. On Nov 5, I went to my Dr and was tested by nasal swab for the flu (hoping I had it!). The test came back negative and the doctor said it was probably another virus. (During the entire 3 week period that I felt symptoms (Oct 30 - Nov 22), I experienced no fever but thought I felt "slightly feverish" or at most 99 degrees.) Since the visit to the Drs office on Nov 5. The symptoms have gradually diminished. During the longest period of thes "symptoms", from about Nov 7 - Nov 22, I have felt generally ok with the slight "feverish feeling", burning eyes,etc. diminishing over the same period with episodes of feeling "normal". On Nov 23, the symtpoms had finally faded and all but disappeared. Nov 24 I felt "almost normal" all day.

I have been calling Hiv/Aids hotlines and the County Health Depts mutliple times over the period of time and have gotten differing information and advice. I have read a number of sites and am confused and need your help.

Based on symptoms. I am terrified and am convinced that I have gone through seroconversion. Based on my activities, I am told I was low risk with one "councilor" commenting that if she were in an accident, she would take my blood. I have been under extreme stress and anxiety over the entire situation as I am married and have regretted the incident every moment of every day. Whiel not entirely happy, I do not want to expose her. I can accept the consequences of my own stupidity but do not want to put her at risk or destroy my family if that can be helped.

It would really help me if you can answer the following questions:

1) What is my relative Hiv risk with the above activities?

2) Am I experiencing or could I be experiencing seroconersion within 48 hrs of an event?

3) Can stress/anxiety bring on the above symptoms that could resemble what has been going on?

4) The hotlines I have called have said I need to wait 3 months. I have read that there are RNA and PCR DNA tests that yield results sooner. I have also read that these have occasional false positive results. The hotline said to not bother taking these and wait for the 3 month standard antibody testing.

so: What is the difference in these tests, are they reliable? and do they yield false positives? or do I need to wait 3 months?

I need your help and guidance.

I am terrified and have been for the last 3 weeks.

What if anything can I do now to put my mind at ease or confirm what I am fearing to begin addressing the health and personal issues I have caused?

Thank-you for your time and help. While I know you don't require it, I will be making a donation.

Response from Dr. Frascino


1. Your HIV risk is so remote it's essentially nonexistent.

2. No. Symptoms associated with HIV acute retroviral syndrome become manifest two to three weeks after HIV primary infection.

3. Absofrickenlutely. Just peruse the archives of this forum and you'll find many examples.

4. I agree with the hotlines. The best test for HIV screening remains the HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. PCR tests (RNA or DNA) are generally not recommended for routine HIV screening, due to the rate of false positives, other technical problems and cost. You can read much more about HIV tests in the archives of this forum. We have an entire chapter devoted to the subject.

My advice is simple:

1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

2. Get an HIV test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from the Bouncing Bertha at the Badda Bing.

Talk to your doctor or a counselor about your anxiety and guilt. Psychotherapy (counseling) and/or anti-anxiety medication may help considerably.

Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive three-month HIV test is negative. I'm very confident it indeed will be negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

About an answer given on November 19th part II

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