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Stressed and distressed
Nov 2, 2009

Hi Mr.Frascino , Im a 28year old greek , closeted man . I rarely have sex ( once a year ) and when i do its always protected . I wanted to ask you a couple of things and sorry for including too many intimate details . I had protected sex with a man 3 months ago . When we were about to start i asked for lube and he brought me baby oil . The condom broke immediately once the penis touched the anus but the sex hadnt even started meaning there was no entrance yet of the penis in the anus . We then took another condom , an ' extra safe ' one with lube of its own and made love . It didnt brake and the guy didnt finnish inside , although i know that doesnt necessarily change things much . Then 15 days ago i met this man at the bar . we were having a drink and chatting and we started french kissing at one point but didnt do anything else . Then he told me that about an hour before meeting me he had oral sex with a guy he met in the bar and let him finish in his mouth . I dont have any gum problems or wounds inside the mouth . Do you think i am at any danger ? Should i go check myself?

For the last 3 days i had diarrhea but nothing else . Do you think it could be ars ? I have always been very fearful and depressed about my sex life and sexuallity and to be this worried is what i expected in the first place . i always am after any sex encounter i have . But , what do you think is the risk with these cases if any ?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Greek Guy,

1. Baby oil (or any oil-based lubricant) is not compatible with latex condoms, as you so dramatically discovered! Fortunately, there was no penetration and therefore no HIV-transmission/acquisition risk.

2. Kissing a guy who gave a blow job to another dude an hour earlier is not a risk for HIV acquisition.

Being "very fearful and depressed" about your sex life is not healthy. I strongly urge you to seek counseling (psychotherapy) to help you with your sexual orientation issues. Closets are health hazards. It's time to come out. Sex is supposed to be fun, not anxiety provoking.

Dr. Bob



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