The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

I am a jerk...

Oct 22, 2009

So I am married, have 3 kids and have never had homosexual sex until I discovered Craig's List about a year ago (I am 36). As I mentioned, I am a piece of garbage for betraying my wife, who I love like you would not believe, but that's another issue entirely (or is it?). Anyways, I was looking to fool around with a female for lack of sex at home when I realized how difficult and unrealistic it is to find a non-hooker female on CL. Also had no interest in a relationship, strictly wanted to get off with no complications. So it started with letting a CD blow me, then another, then a guy, etc. I realized a BJ is a BJ if you close your eyes. I also realized how easy it is to get a guy to suck your dick for free with no strings attached.Maybe that is why I keep doing it. I don't know. Sleeping at night without feeling MASSIVE guilt is difficult at best. ANYWAYS, my real question is: how at risk am I of contracting HIV from these blowjobs. They have all been without a rubber. That truly is all I have done though, which I would now estimate as being around 50 blowjobs that I have received. What are the statistical odds of getting AIDS, or anything else for that matter, from getting head without a rubber. I realize Herpes is a very real possibility, what about the big HIV and other STD's? Thank you.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You never had homosexual sex until you discovered Craig's List? You mean Craig's List turned you gay? Wow. One can only wonder what might happen to a suggestible guy like you if you happened to start watching the Jerry Springer Show. You might become a cross-dressing, obese, white-trash toothless hillbilly who is having sex with both his sister and her husband.

The estimated per-act statistical risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV infected is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your estimated statistical risk would be less, as we don't know the HIV status of the 50 (50!?!) Craig's List dudes who tasted your penis popsicle. Overall your HIV risk is low. If you remain concerned, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark.

As for other STDs that can be transmitted via blow jobs, there are a number of them. Those that cause sores and blisters (like syphilis and herpes) can be transmitted quite easily during all types of oral sex -- both getting and giving. Gonorrhea, chlamydia and NGU are also transmissible while getting sucked (or sucking). A simple STD screen can be performed by your doctor or an STD clinic to ascertain if you picked up anything other than a blow job on CL.

I'd suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the best way to deal with your "massive guilt;" it's also the right thing to do. In addition, I suggest you seek psychotherapy (counseling) to explore sexual orientation issues.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

CD4 Not Improving
H1N1 vaccine

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint