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Lap Dance Question - I believe my situation is different
Sep 28, 2009

Dr. Bob,

I'm very concerned, and I was looking for your input. I went through a break up recently and spent about the past 2 days doing what I consider "risky" activity. Looking back on it now, I've decided I am going to stop.

The first night, I went to a strip club, and one of the strippers seemed to be "really" into me. She unzipped my pants during a lap dance, but I immediately informed her that I was uncomfortable with it being in "open air", so she put on a condom and gave me a hand job. Where I am worried in this situation is that, when she pulled my penis out, the end of it rubbed against part of the outside of my zipper, which is wear 10 seconds earlier, she was dancing on me. So the end of my penis may have come in contact with her secretions that were on my pants. I know HIV can't live a long time outside the body, but it was only about 10 seconds between her being there and the end of my penis accidentally touching the area - do I have anything to worry about there?

Being freaked out, I told myself today that I wouldn't go back. So I drove away and ended up going to another city. Unfortunately, there was a strip club right next to my hotel, and I was tempted to go in. Except at this strip club, I was really attracted to one of the girls. She asked if she should give me a lap dance, and I allowed her to. Initially, it just started with her being fully nude, but after I let it go on a little bit, she began touching me. She asked if she could unzip my pants, but I told her no. But then, out of no where, my jeans ripped in my crotch! She had spread my legs open, and my pants were a bit baggy, and so now I had a small 2-3 inch hole right in my crotch area. She laughed, and attempted to reach in, but I stopped her. But then, without warning, she put her mouth on the side of my penis, but with my jeans and my boxers in between her mouth and my penis. She blew air out, and I could definitely feel the air from her mouth, so now I'm worried that because it was so close, the jeans/boxers wouldn't be enough to block the "blow job" that was given to me for a few seconds. This is my #1 concern.

But where else I'm concerned is that, at one point, I felt my penis "pop out" through the hole in the front of my boxers. My jeans NEVER came off, nor were they unzipped, but I did have that small 2 inch hole in the crotch. My gut tells me that there was always at least either my jeans, OR my boxers, in between myself and her vaginal area during the dance, but I can't be so sure. But still, my pants and boxers were ALWAYS ON (never came off or unzipped), it's just that at some point, they both had holes in them =(, so there was a clear escape path.

Should I be worried about either of these situations? How long can HIV live in the air? Can it be transmitted from her mouth through my jeans/boxers and onto my penis? What if my penis popped out of my boxers during the lap dance - with only my jeans separating her vagina from my penis. Could the secretions have seeped through?

Thank you for calming my mind. Honestly, I've read your other posts on here, and I do agree that lap dances make me uncomfortable, which is why I freak out more, so I'm not sure why I sometimes let them happen to me. I'd much rather get into a new stable relationship, when the time is ready of course.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Of course you believe your situation is different; everyone does! However it is not.

Your HIV-acquisition risk from your Bouncing Bertha at the local Badda Bing is essentially nonexistent. If HIV were that easy to get, it would have wiped out the planet long ago.

Your concerns about a blow-job through your pants, your tallywhacker touching your zipper shortly after Bertha bounced on it or vaginal secretions soaking through your jeans are all unwarranted.

I am impressed your trouser snake managed to find (or poke) a hole in both your boxers and your jeans! He must be very talented (or super horned up!).

Relax Max. You're fine.

Dr. Bob



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