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Stressed out, need some help...

Sep 28, 2009

Hi doctor, ive been surfing you forum like a maniac for the last week searching for some reassurance, ive been on a trip to thailand and have slept with three girls, thhe first one was a CSW of unknown status, we had protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral 4 times, im pretty sure the condoms didnt break, however i was pretty drunk, and when i sobered up i immediatly stressed out about HIV....This was allmost three months ago, i got a Test done at 55 days and the doctor told me the resluts where 95% accurate and this point, but that i still should get tested at the 12 week mark. Anyway stupid me last week got drunk again and slept with another girl, same as before protected vaginal and unprotected oral(very short oral exposure) and some fingering, from what the girl said she wasnt a CSW but she was at some point before, we had a small chat about HIV and she said she gets tested and her words" i have a family i dont want to die..." anyway i checked all the condoms for breaks, ect...and they were fine, but i had a tiny scratch on my finger that was scabbing and im not sure if thats the finger i inserted in her vagina, could this be a risk? Then a few days later I slept with another girl of unknown status, she is a bar girl but we hit it off and could say we got pretty intimate, we had sex 3 times all protected and some fingering, no oral. And some kissing, she has dry lips and they are peeling a bit could this be a risk? She told me she alwas uses condoms but has not been tested as she is rather new to the buisness...Ive told her she should go get tested i hope she takes my advice... Ive had a few HIV scares already( mainly due to right wing religous bullshit misinformation ect...), and i feel pretty dumb for what ive done, but in my defence the women in thailand are absolutly amazingly beatifull, its hard for a man to resist the temptation....Anyway for some reason ive had many many sexual encouters with condoms and never been freaked out about it, but this being thailand, sub type E, ect... i got a bit stressed out, and still am....Im not going to let myself get sucked into the symptoms game, unless i get seriously sick with high fever and a complete body rash..and even then as youve repeated it so many times symptoms are pretty meaningless... So my question to you dear Doctor is, in your proffessional opinion am i overreacting, my friends all tell me so, and it reassures me they do. But for some reason theres a little nagging voice in the back of my head telling what if? I understand that hiv transmission from oral sex is extremly low, i mean practically unheard off even, and as long as my condom was used properly the risk of transmission is virtually impossible. So basicaly if i wasnt a stressed out worrier, and i simply asked you if i should worry or not at all what would you say to me? I think my mind will only rest easy when i get a test in three months, however a bit of reassurance from you would be great at this point, to help me cope with the anguish a bit better....Assuming that the girls i slept with did have HIV what would be my risk? Sorry if im a bit all over the place but that kinda reflects the stae of mind im in right now. I would also like to add that your site is a great ressource and i really value your work and having read many of your posts you come across as a really cool guy and extremly patient, dealing with all these questions the way you do, im incclined to send a donation to your site as I beleive that it is a good cause and will actually help people in need. Much respect, one scared guy...

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello One Scared Guy,

There is no doubt that "right wing religious bullshit misinformation" tends to increase fears and anxieties around HIV (and sex in general).

You've been quite active sexually, but your vaginal sex was always latex condom protected. Assuming the latex (or polyurethane) condom was used properly and did not break, your HIV risk from this activity would be essentially nonexistent. HIV cannot permeate intact latex or polyurethane, no matter what the pope, Vatican "scientists" or other religious wing-nuts may claim. Oral sex, particularly insertive oral sex, carries only a very low risk for HIV transmission.

A tiny scabbed scratch on your "fingering finger" would not be an HIV risk. Likewise for the slight peeling lips.

So should you worry? No, I don't believe excessive worry is warranted.

Should you get a three-month HIV-antibody test? Yes. It will give you not only a definitive result, but also considerable peace of mind.

Thanks for your interest in The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your three-month HIV-antibody test will be negative. (I'm quite confident it will indeed be negative.)

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

HIV Phobia
Dr Bob, Please Help me Junky 1981

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