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Please Answer, Very Stressed. Bad husband!
Sep 23, 2009

I am a 39 year old married male. I cheated on my wife, made out with an other women for about 15 minutes. I don't think blood was involved but still very anxious I am concerned about be infected with hiv and infecting my wife. I tested 9 days negative DNA PCR and 3 weeks negative antibody test. Based on my exposure and test result do you think I am safe and can move on. Do I need more testing? Can I continue a unprotected sex life with my wife? Please help me and answer. I will send a donation of $50.00.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Very Stressed,

As long as your 15 minutes of "making out" with the other woman did not involve unprotected penetrative sex, your HIV-acquisition risk is essentially nonexistent. Your negative nine-day qualitative DNA PCR and three-week negative antibody test are to be expected with such a non-exposure. If you had had a significant HIV-exposure risk, I would recommend an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark for a definitive and conclusive result. In your case I do not believe it is warranted medically, but a three month definitive test might be helpful from a psychological perspective in putting your (unwarranted) worries permanently to rest.

As for your guilt feelings about being a "bad husband", the only way to confront that is to level with your wife. Try not to be too hard on yourself. We are all only human, which means we all make mistakes, even yours truly! The important thing is to admit our errors, accept the consequences of our actions and learn from the experience. I believe you've done all these.

Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's warmly appreciated and urgently needed. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma.

Be well!

Dr. Bob



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