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really really freaking out .... what should i do?

Sep 19, 2009

so i went on a date with a guy i met online, had a great time, went back to his place, started making out and having a good time, got more comfortable in his bed, and he started giving me head and of course i started to reciprocate 69 style. there were poppers involved, and lately I have had allergy issues so have somewhat of a sore throat, well i never had any intentions of going there (anal),and there was little to no precum on his penis when I was giving him head ( had some but wiped it off before giving him head). well he then proceeds to tell me after we had 69'd that he was just recently diagnosed HIV positive 3 1/2 weeks ago and is not on meds yet, because there is no need even though he said his viral load was high because he was just diagnosed...again there was little to no precum and i have had a sore throat but no visible cuts or tears in my mouth... freaking out...what should I do?... should i be really concerned.... after I found that out I was so pissed that I left, was nice, but left, what an a-hole not to tell me, and he said he didnt think it was a big deal cause he had an HIV+ partner and had not contracted from him even though he had given him head many times....he contracted it from being promiscuous after they broke basically I am freaking out and dont know what I should do .... please advise at your earliest convenience considering i am about to lose my mind!!!!

Response from Dr. Frascino


You neglected Dr. Bob's #1 rule: Consider all sexual partners to potentially be HIV infected and take all the necessary precautions to protect your health and stop the further spread of the virus. Had you followed this simple rule and found out "after the fact" that your latest stud puppy was positively charged, you would have had no reason to freak out because you would have taken precautions, right? OK, so lesson well learned (the hard way). I'm sure you'll never break Dr. Bob's #1 rule ever again.

Turning now to your HIV risk, it remains low. Unprotected oral sex carries only a very low risk of HIV acquisition. It is true, however, that folks who are recently infected and have a sky high viral load can be very infectious. I doubt your allergy-related postnasal drip and sore throat would be much of a factor. I would suggest you get an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. You can read much more about the risks associated with oral sex in the archives of this forum. We have an entire chapter devoted to this topic. Check it out!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Paranoid questions are offensive for us
Lost and don't know what to do

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