The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

Barebacked Fool Postscript

Sep 3, 2009

Dr. Bob, thank you for your stern, compassionate words, good wishes, and for being there if I need you..

I am right, aren't I, that having to endure this entire learning experience includes abstinence from sex until my sixth month (20 Jan 2010) HIV-antibody test recommended by the CDC for significant HIV exposure shows that I am clean and cannot transmit an HIV virus to a partner?

Your Friend

Response from Dr. Frascino


Six months of no nookie??? Hey, I may be "stern" when necessary, but abstinence ranks right up there with waterboarding and going hunting with Dick Cheney as cruel and unusual punishment. No, you don't have to be abstinent, but you do have to practice strict safer sex. Plus, it would be recommended that you disclose your current predicament to your potential sex partners so they are fully informed. OK?

By the way if I didn't have sex for six months, I'm sure I'd explode from spontaneous combustion.

Be well. Be safe.

Dr. Bob

Barebacked Fool Sep 1, 2009

Barebacked Fool Dr. Bob, I know better but a guy I care for very much fucked me bareback for several minutes, did not finish, withdrew, put on a woman's condom and finished. There had been oral foreplay so there may have been precum which I know carries viruses. (Would saliva dilute the precum?) Later when I wiped there was a little blood. I have since learned that he is HIV+ and that he takes antiretroviral drugs (he is in apparent good health). My question is does the fact that he takes antiretroviral drugs lessen my obvious chances of becoming HIV+? It will be 3 months October 20 when I will certainly get tested and hope and pray I can WOOHOO (please, please send me good karma even though I acted like a fool - - I wanted him in me). (Do I have to hate myself or him?) Fucked Up

Response from Dr. Frascino


I agree barebacking is a foolish and dangerous lapse in judgment. Both you and your positively charged top gun need to share the responsibility for this mistake. He, for knowingly putting you at great risk and you, for allowing him to do so.

Certainly barebacking places you at risk for STDs, including HIV. That you noted some blood when cleaning up potentially increases your HIV-acquisition risk. That your buddy is on HIV medications potentially decreases your risk. (Effective combination antiretroviral therapy that drives HIV plasma viral load to undetectable levels can significantly decrease HIV transmission risk.)

Oral sex carries only a very low risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. There are components of saliva that have antiviral properties, but this does not completely negate all risk.

It's also important to note that even with a documented HIV risk, not every HIV exposure leads to HIV transmission.

Good luck with your upcoming HIV tests. Please note the CDC recommends HIV-antibody tests at both the three- and six-month marks for significant HIV exposures.

I'm hopeful that by having to endure this entire experience you have learned that barebacking is not worth the potential catastrophic consequences.

I'm here if you need me, OK?

Good luck!

Dr. Bob


  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint