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scared for me and my wife please help!

Aug 26, 2009

Hi, Ive emailed you a couple of times, and must seem like the biggest worry well, but i made a mistake and am terrified about me and my wifes health!

A few weeks back at a bachlor party, things got a little out of hand, i had unproctected oral, and protected intercourse with a stripper. about 2 and half weeks after that i started getting fatigue, and a swollen groin. a week after that i got thrush and swollen neck lymph nodes. i have lost a considerable amount of wieght (14 pounds in 3 weeks) Well i came clean with my wife about my exposure and we are working through things. tested at 2 weeks which came back negative. I came back at 32 days which also came back negative. But now i am freaking out because my wife has started to get fatigue, weight loss, and she has been running a mild fever!

My questions are, 1. how realiable are my test results, considering the second one was taken 2 weeks after symptom onset? 2. my symptoms seem like classic ars symptoms, but can they be attributed to somthing else since i never had a fever. 3. why would my wife have a fever and i wouldnt if it was ars related?

Thank you in advance for answering my question dr bob! ill make sure to get a donation out to you this week! and please give some of that good karma for my next test!

thanks, scared and anxious

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Scared and Anxious,

1. HIV-antibody tests taken prior to the three-month mark are not considered conclusive or definitive.

2. Yes, being "scared and anxious."

3. I strongly doubt either you or your wife is experiencing HIV ARS. Your HIV-acquisition risk is very low. Assuming the latex condom was used properly for the penetrative sex, your risk is limited to an unprotected blow job. This carries only a very, very slight risk for HIV transmission.

My advice is that you and your wife try to calm down. Read through the information in the archives of this forum. We have whole chapters devoted to oral sex and also to strippers among other related topics. You should find the information there both enlightening and reassuring.

Thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated and urgently needed. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive three-month HIV test remains negative. I'm glad you leveled with your wife. It was definitely the right thing to do. Being honest always is.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

Boyfriend cheated with transexual. I think I just went through ARS!
"Just came out, want to go back in" Follow-Up

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