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My Woo-Hoo Moment!!

Jul 30, 2009

Hey Dr. Bob,

I want to start by saying thank you for answering my question and helping ease my anxiety back on July 14: "Anxiety is killing me...". Even though I did not want to go get re-tested at the 3 month mark, I just manned up and did it yesterday. The lady at the clinic got a kick out of me, I think I knew more about HIV than she did! So after my low risk of exposure from receiving oral from an HIV positive boyfriend (now my ex) the results came back NEGATIVE!!!! All my symptoms just kinda went away and I now feel like I have my life back. I can finally put my focus back on getting my M.B.A. and not worry myself about having HIV. After this whole fiasco, I think I am going to have to have a more strict application process for someone to date me! Thank you again, this forum and you were a great comfort during my 3 month freak session. As promised before, a nice donation is on its way!

Thank you!!!

Response from Dr. Frascino


All your symptoms "just kinda went away" after you tested HIV negative. Yeah, we see a lot of that around here. It's almost reaching epidemic proportions!

WOO-HOO! And thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated and urgently needed!

Be well. Stay well. I'm sure you will.

Dr. Bob

Anxiety is killing me.... Jul 14, 2009

Dr. Bob,

This site has been extremely helpful, but for my own sanity I would like to ask a question regarding whether I need to be worried about HIV or not. I apologize for the length of this question, but need to ask someone else. So I started seeing this guy, and after months of getting to know each other, we decided to have sex. He assured me he had been tested and he was negative. So I received oral from him and I had protective anal sex with him, I was the top. We only had sex once, did not see any breakage of the condom, and did not give him oral at all. Then he found out he might have been exposed with HIV, he got tested, and boom, positive. So of course I am freaking out and hate him for his lie because he came clean and said he actually was not previously tested. I went two weeks later to get the rapid blood HIV test, it came back negative. I know sometimes it takes up to three months to show up, so been freaking out and feel I have HIV too. I had a small cold a week after our one time sex and it started the day after I found out he had HIV. Although my roommate was sick with the same thing, so might have caught that from her. I feel like I have a mild lower back pain at times and my gums are red where my teeth meet the gums on the backside of two of my molars (most likely gingivitis). I have read numerous articles everyday about how no one has ever contracted HIV from receiving oral sex and that protected anal is safe as long as the condom didn't break. But then I read an article that there could be small tears in the condom you might not be able to see and let the virus in. I keep reading about symptoms, one said gingivitis could be an early sign, and feel like I am noticing more moles on my skin, but that could be my imagination. I am freaking out because its only been a little over 2 months and am so scared of getting tested again soon. Just would like some reassurance or thoughts about my situation or my risk factor, this has consumed every day the last how many weeks and made me worn out, I stopped eating as much, lost 10 lbs, and stopped working out since this is all I can think about. I am really looking for another experts advice or opinion to help ease my mind. Also I am very appreciative of what you do here and would like to make a donation. On a side note, I also have a grudge against the guy who I was with and he wants to continue dating, but because I think I have it, been hating him since this whole thing started, so how can I be there for him and not hate him? Any advice would be greatly appreciative!

Response from Dr. Frascino


You accurately assessed your HIV-acquisition risk. Unprotected insertive oral sex carries only a very minimal risk for HIV transmission. Protected insertive anal sex would indeed be "protected" assuming the latex condom was used properly and didn't break. Your concerns about "small tears in the condom ... that let the virus in" are unwarranted. Condoms don't have holes in them that let the virus pass through! If they did, what good would they be? HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. When a condom fails (breaks), it usually does so very dramatically. Mr. Happy's head comes popping through just like your head pokes through a turtleneck sweater. When latex that is stretched tightly over a throbbing engorged tallywhacker tears, it rips open impressively and would be very noticeable, OK?

As for your "symptoms," the title of your question says it all: "Anxiety is killing me . . . ." Your symptoms are related to anxiety, not HIV. Treatment of your anxiety with psychotherapy or anti-anxiety medications may be helpful.

I'm quite confident your definitive three-month test will be negative.

As for what to do with your buddy who has difficultly telling the truth, only you can decide. True friendships and lasting relationships are built on honesty, veracity, compassion and care for your friend or mate. He seems to have screwed up on all fronts. Personally I too would have difficulty ever trusting him again. If he does wind up singing "The One That Got Away Blues," perhaps it will help him learn an important lesson that could help him in his next relationship.

Thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-health karma that your definitive three-month test is negative. I'm confident it indeed will be.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Worried dutch boy follow-up

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