Jul 10, 2009
I'm meeting a Doc from the HIV TestNow folks who's going to do an oraquick on me at 1:45am. So sad. So fucke dup. So scared. I have it and know it: Another lymph node swelled up on me after I got out of shower tonight. This one is on my inner right leg. So it's bilateral now, one on left, one on right. Plus what appears to be thrush. All b/c of 4 minutes of sex w/ a stripper and a minimal condom break. The condom stayed on me and I couldn't even tell it was broken until i got in the good light of the bathroom because the break was on its side, not at the head. But now everything is fucked. Everything is over. I think I'm going to kill myself tonight.
I'm more and more depressed every hour. This is the second time I've written you in the past 24 hours. I think maybe it just makes me feel a bit better to write you. I know you've already read my previous emails so I won't re-state my situation. I'm assaulted by weird symptoms/non-symptoms. The swollen node on my inner elft thigh. The white tongue, which has been going on for three+ days, but is only at the backk of my tongue now that I did some reading and found that I should brush it and drink lots of water. Maybe it's thrush, maybe it ain't. Who knows.
i FUCKED AROUND AND MY LIFE IS COLLAPSING. I just got tested: Waiting till Wed for results. any good news for a dipshit who can't put on a condom right (it stayed on the penis head, never fell off, but big rip down the side, on the shaft area)? like i said, just writing you is soothing enough
Dr. Bob: It's 2:30 am. I'm about to test at the 6 week mark tomorrow. I have had thrush for 3 days. An enlarged lymph node on my left inner-thigh. I had protected sex w/ a stripper, but the condom broke and now I am scared to death. We had sex for 3-4 minutes. I didn't realize the condom was broke because it didn't break at the head but along its side. The head of the condom stayed intact. The advisor/counselor I talked to at the California AIDS Hotline told me my chances of HIV transmission were "close to zero" and the family doc I saw the morning after the incident said transmission chances were very low. She would not give me PEP, though I asked for it. Now these symptoms: I can't sleep. I'm terrified. I'm absolutely distraught. I'm sorry I'm like this.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
OK dude, put the razorblade down and step away from the ledge on the top floor of that skyscraper. Now I want you to take three big cleansing yoga breaths. Go ahead, we'll wait. There. Doesn't that feel better! No? Well, it was worth a try, because from your multiple posts it's obvious you're stressed to the max. I've combined a number of your posts over the past 24 hours.
Yes, four minutes of hanky-panky with Bouncing Betty at the Badda Bing and a "minimal condom break" does place you at some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV. However, relax Max! If indeed the "head of the condom stayed intact," your HIV-acquisition risk is negligible. I agree with the AIDS hotline counselor and your family doctor! PEP certainly was not warranted.
Your "symptoms" are not worrisome for acute retroviral syndrome and are more consistent with anxiety. I'm extremely confident your HIV test will be negative. By the way, where did you find a "doc from the HIV Test Now folks" who would do an HIV test at 1:45 a.m.?
Dude, your level of anxiety and fear is way out of proportion to any degree of real risk. That means you have a psychological or psychiatric problem: irrational fear of being HIV infected. Your comment "I think I'm going to kill myself tonight" is particularly alarming. I would suggest you contact a psychiatrist without delay. You need psychiatric help much more than you need an HIV test. Speaking of HIV testing, you'll need to wait until the three-month mark to get a definitive and conclusive result. In the interim I strongly advise psychiatric intervention to help you cope with your anxiety, depression and irrational fears.
Write back when you get your three-month definitive HIV test result. It will undoubtedly be negative and you'll be WOO-HOOing like a banshee in heat. You'll also be kicking yourself in the gluteus maximus for being such a drama queen. I'll then add your testimonial to the gazillions of other hysterical, histrionic, drama queen ex-worried wells in the archives. Hopefully by collecting enough stories like yours, it will help others with their self-induced worried-well hell.
Now try those yoga breaths again, OK dude?
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