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HIV- women & HIV + guy
Jul 6, 2009

I meet this guy and we have been dating for about 7/8 weeks. We haven't kissed or had sex. I like the guy, but he just told me that he is HIV+, for about 18 months, from a previous relationship with another women. I still like him, at this point I'm trying 2 determine whether or not 2 pursue this relationship because I have children from previous marriage, they are both teens now. If I choose to remain in a relationship with him, I know condoms are a must with traditional sex, but what else? What about if he performs oral sex? There so many things that I typically enjoy in a relationship,for example, feeding one another, sharing a drink together. I don't want to put myself at risk under no circumstances because ultimately, I need to make sure I will be there for my sons. I need to do do everything within my power to ensure they graduate high school & college. I believe that if you care for a person, I shouldn't discard him because of his HIV+ status.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You've been dating for eight weeks and haven't even kissed yet??? Hmm . . . are you sure your new Mr. Right isn't gay? OK, let's assume he's straight as a lawn dart and positively charged. There is absolutely no risk of HIV transmission from casual contact, such as feeding one another or sharing a drink! Unprotected oral sex carries only a very slight risk of HIV transmission. I agree you shouldn't "discard" a potential Mr. Happily-Ever-After simply because he's virally enhanced. Speaking from personal experience as someone in a magnetic relationship, magnetic couples can have very successful and sexually satisfying long-term relationships. I would suggest two things:

1. Read through the archives of this forum. We have entire chapters devoted to magnetic couples, HIV sexual and nonsexual prevention, HIV sexual and nonsexual transmission, safer sexual practices, oral sex and a variety of other topics.

2. Kiss the dude, frevinsakes!!!

Dr. Bob



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