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Unprotected Oral sex. Your opinion. Been reading similar answers. Your opinion please?

Jul 6, 2009

Hi Dr. Bob,

Been reading this forum for years and I feel this is a great service you do for the public. At times I wonder how you can do it and how have you been able to put up with us for so long. Well here is my question and I have read similar questions but I just want your opinion. I had 4 sexual encounters a few nights ago. I performed oral sex on a woman for quite a while. I next received oral sex from a man and then I performed oral on a man. I thought I tasted precum it sure tasted like it. Once I tasted it I spit it on his penis. Before me a woman sucked him and turned the job over to me. When the man stated earlier performed oral on me I didn't cum. Another woman performed oral on me with a rubber but since I was almost limp It didn't stay on and her saliva got all over me. She did perform oral on serval men before me I think. I then got on top of her didn't penetrate her but the rubber I believe slipped off as I humped her near her vagina. I read over and over oral carries a low risk and I do plan on getting tested. I don't feel any symptoms but I know it takes time. These were my first sexual encounters and Im very close to 30. I was one of the few who practiced abstinence but I was so fed up with being sexually deprived for so long I had to go for it. I am doing my best not to panic, I don't know why but Im not really scared like how I was in the past about STD's. I thought to myself why worry, why rush into an ER for medication only to find the anxiety wasn't worth it. I do feel tired, dizzy and the sides of my tongue feel weird but like I said earlier im tryin not to get scared over it. I thought the fatige might be from the celebrex I took the night before, it has that awful energy rush to it and has almost prevented me from getting erections also it has decreased my sexual desire. Confusing eh? I will send a donation, I have before since I feel this is a great service you people do for us.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You are nearly 30 and were "one of the few who practiced abstinence but were so fed up with being sexually deprived for so long (you) had to go for it." You're correct when you wrote you have "read similar questions" in this forum. I tend to hear from lots of folks who fall off the abstinence wagon. As humans we are all sexual beings. Abstinence, in my opinion, is an unnatural lifestyle choice! Also, like many other ex-abstinence folks, you, when you did fall off the wagon, did so with great gusto! Your first experience sounds like a bisexual orgy worthy of a closeted rightwing GOP senator (or governor). However, your HIV risk really is not "confusing." Rather it's quite straightforward. Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV acquisition/transmission. As with all penetrative sex, the receptive partner is at greater risk than the insertive partner. You can read details about estimated statistical risk of acquiring HIV from fellatio and/or cunnilingus in the archives of the forum in the chapter devoted to oral sex. Again, the overall HIV risk for all types of oral sex is very low. "Humping near the vagina" (frottage) is not considered a risk for HIV transmission.

I absolutely agree with your decision not to freak out with worry or "run to the ER for medication." Your dizziness and weird feeling tongue are not at all suggestive of or worrisome for HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS). I agree with your decision to get an HIV test at the three-month mark. I encourage you to continue perusing the wealth of information on this Web site, paying particular attention to how HIV is and is not transmitted. You should continue to find the information enlightening and reassuring. The odds are all in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this extraordinarily delayed but impressive first round of nookie.

Thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive HIV test is negative. (I strongly suspect it will indeed be negative.)

Be well. Stay well. Play safe.

Dr. Bob

Frenulum question not in the archives (FRENULUM, BANGO STRING, 2009)
Dr. Bob, i am coming to you after waiting for three months. $100 donation will be in the mail from Dallas.

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