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judging our status by the status of our partner - why not?

Jun 1, 2009

Dr. Bob, you are repeatedly writing that it's not advisable to judge our status by the status of our partners, and that the best thing to do is to go get tested ourselves. I had an exposure in November 2008 with another guy (I was sure I was negative then, I had taken multiple tests way beyond the window period of any exposures prior to that one). I took a test in late January (it was negative), which, I understand was too early to grant me a Dr.Bob-certification. However, the partner I was with had a negative test a few days ago, which must mean he was negative in November, right? So, I wasn't exposed after all. Is anything wrong with this logic? Could you possibly give me a "no-way-in-hell" Dr.Bob certification?! I haven't been with anyone else since. Or do I have to get another test myself? Thank you for everything. Dan

Response from Dr. Frascino


I stand by my comments that you can not determine your HIV status based on the results of a surrogate! How do you know your buddy's test was really negative? Even if someone slapped a lie detector on his Mr. Happy, I wouldn't trust someone's word regarding his HIV status. There is also the rare possibility of a technical or clerical error. Although not relevant to your case, some folks believe that since their bedmate tested negative last month or even last week, they are safe. That's faulty logic. Their stud muffin could have contracted HIV in the interim by recently screwing the pizza delivery guy or the pool boy or some clueless closeted Republican and still be within his window period. In other words he would be HIV infected and highly infectious but still test HIV negative.

Dan, HIV tests are readily available, painless and not costly. Why would you use your partner's status to infer or second guess your status??? As Mr. Spock would say, "that is not logical." Time to man up Dan and get your own test results if you want your own WOO-HOO.

Dr. Bob

Disclosure and Hysteria
Series of Symptoms followed by Inconclusive Test, Please Help

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