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Very worried!

Jun 1, 2009

Dear Dr Bob,

Firstly I would like to say how pleased I was to find this site and even more so that I can read your advice without the fear of God being put into me. I am str8 but very curious. I have had 3 sexual encounters with other guys this year. I did have penetrative anal sex using a condom with one of them. I did not ejaculate however. I did a test and it came back negative. I had oral sex (unprotected) with another bi-guy who is training to be a Doctor and he says that although he hasn't been tested lately he always uses condoms for penetrative sex. I beleive him too. I am worried about the precum thing? Could i be infected if I swallow his precum? And here comes another. The other night i met a guy. He came back to my apartment. We had oral. I put a condom on his penis but I didn't put one on mine. He only sucked me off a bit because I was a bit hesitant. In the morning we had oral sex again but i just played with his fenulum with my tounge. On both occasions I didn't see any pre-cum from his penis. I never produce any, wierd I know. Again we both did not ejaculate. I discovered a small sore/abrasion (where i had knocked myself the previous evening) in my mouth and a small abrasion (now scabbed) on my penis. Do you think that I could be infected? I know the questions I have are a bit mad but I'm slowly driving myself crazy here thinking about it all the time. Hope you can help.

Many thanks


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello L,

Protected sex is "protected" assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail (break).

Oral sex carries only a very slight risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Precum can transmit the virus. Overall your HIV risk is extremely low at best.

As for your comment ". . . I'm driving myself crazy . . ." most likely this is related to your "str8 but curious" MSM activities.

My advice, whether you are straight as a lawn dart (doubtful) or ultimately gay enough to bottom for Liberace, is simple:

1. If you feel you've placed yourself at risk for HIV, get a single HIV test at the three-month mark.

2. Consult a psychologist to explore sexual orientation issues.

Good luck L,

Dr. Bob

12+ years of uncertainity and fear!!
Disclosure and Hysteria

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