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Very worried!
Jun 1, 2009

Dear Dr Bob,

Firstly I would like to say how pleased I was to find this site and even more so that I can read your advice without the fear of God being put into me. I am str8 but very curious. I have had 3 sexual encounters with other guys this year. I did have penetrative anal sex using a condom with one of them. I did not ejaculate however. I did a test and it came back negative. I had oral sex (unprotected) with another bi-guy who is training to be a Doctor and he says that although he hasn't been tested lately he always uses condoms for penetrative sex. I beleive him too. I am worried about the precum thing? Could i be infected if I swallow his precum? And here comes another. The other night i met a guy. He came back to my apartment. We had oral. I put a condom on his penis but I didn't put one on mine. He only sucked me off a bit because I was a bit hesitant. In the morning we had oral sex again but i just played with his fenulum with my tounge. On both occasions I didn't see any pre-cum from his penis. I never produce any, wierd I know. Again we both did not ejaculate. I discovered a small sore/abrasion (where i had knocked myself the previous evening) in my mouth and a small abrasion (now scabbed) on my penis. Do you think that I could be infected? I know the questions I have are a bit mad but I'm slowly driving myself crazy here thinking about it all the time. Hope you can help.

Many thanks

L

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello L,

Protected sex is "protected" assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail (break).

Oral sex carries only a very slight risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Precum can transmit the virus. Overall your HIV risk is extremely low at best.

As for your comment ". . . I'm driving myself crazy . . ." most likely this is related to your "str8 but curious" MSM activities.

My advice, whether you are straight as a lawn dart (doubtful) or ultimately gay enough to bottom for Liberace, is simple:

1. If you feel you've placed yourself at risk for HIV, get a single HIV test at the three-month mark.

2. Consult a psychologist to explore sexual orientation issues.

Good luck L,

Dr. Bob



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