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12+ years of uncertainity and fear!!

Jun 1, 2009

Hello Doctor,

I have been scanning through your website since the past few days and got a lot of reassurance that only symptoms do not warranty a +ve status.

My only exposure to HIV was in early 1997, wherein I had performed and was performed on with oral sex with my girl friend. I got to know later that year (after my break-up that she had multiple partners before me).

Everything went on well untill year 2000 when I read the symptoms of HIV (ARS) and post that I observed and experienced recurrent oral ulcers, white patches on tongue and inflamatory purple patches on the inner thigh. I got myself tested for HIV - ELISA and the result was negative.

Thereafter I got married in 2004, however, since 2000, the following symptoms have been recurring:

1) Recurrent Oral Ulcers - On Cheeks, Tongue and Gums (Continous since 2000 till today) 2) White patches on tongue - Intermittent since 2000 till today 3) Dandruff - Regular since 2000 4) Athlete's foot - since 2007 till today

Now we want to plan a family, however, the scare because of these symptoms is not letting me go ahead with this.

I do not have the balls to go for a testing again - as if it comes positive, I dont know how to face my wife.

Based on your suggestion (other than going for the test) - I will either go ahead with the baby plan or will not ever do so.

Await your soonest response. Thanks in advance.

Response from Dr. Frascino


A negative ELISA three years after your last possible exposure is conclusive and definitive. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. No additional HIV testing is warranted.

Your four symptoms are extremely common and not pathognomonic of HIV/AIDS. (The vast majority of folks with these conditions do not have HIV/AIDS.) A negative HIV test outside the window period (three months) trumps "symptoms" every time.

Therefore I see no reason you should continue to worry about HIV or delay starting your family. Of course I do wonder about your lack of cojones: "I do not have the balls to go for a testing again . . . ." Hmm . . . what's up with that? You need your low hangers to succeed in the baby-making department. Twelve years of uncertainty and fear over a disease you could not possibly have is pure insanity. Your fears of being HIV infected and getting HIV tested are irrational. Counseling to help you confront these unwarranted worries may be helpful. I would suggest you get treatment (psychotherapy) for this condition before beginning the baby-making project.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

$50 Donation For Question On Weird Oral Sex
Very worried!

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