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boyfriend hiv +

May 20, 2009

Hi doctor. First of all I need to tell you that you've helped me a lot with your forum, thanks! I have a new boyfriend, he's extra special and we really like eachother. He's HIV pos and I'm HIV neg. He told me, since day two, that he's on antiretroviral therapy and that he's undetectable right now. I know that even he's undetectable, he's still infected, and I can get infected by doing non-safe activities. My question is if it is really safe to have sex with him using a condon. I don't know if this matters, but I really like to be the bottom one.

Thank you very much!


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello John,

Congratulations on finding Mr. Right (or even Mr. Right Now).

Regarding condoms, HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. However, very rarely condoms can fail (break). Also, many people do not use condoms appropriately and this too can lead to HIV transmission. I would suggest you and your new top gun stud muffin read through the chapters in the archives of this forum devoted to magnetic couples, HIV sexual transmission, HIV sexual prevention and safer sex techniques. You should also review the harm-reduction strategies for magnetic couples, i.e. proper use of latex or polyurethane condoms, having a starter dose of PEP always available, consideration of PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), etc.

Good luck John.

Dr. Bob

Female partially woohooing after 6 years torture!!! Can I really Woohoo doc?

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