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Trying to retake my sexual activity (SAFE SEX)

Apr 19, 2009

Dr. Bob:

I'm a 29 years old guy who sent you a question with the title "I'm very concerned about what I've done in the last years". I sent a donation to your foundation the last year and now I'm donating to some of the local organizations who work for people with HIV/AID because I'm more aware of this disease due to the useful information that I found your site. After receiving a blowjob from a masseuse the last year I started to panic that I was infected with HIV/AIDS, but due to your answer and the psychological and psychiatric treatment that I receive (because I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia) my irrational fears of HIV/AIDS have decreased. I tested (ELISA HIV ag/ab) at four months, six month and eight months after the insertive oral sex episode, and that make me feel completely relieved because I realized I was negative. Now I started with my sexual activity (unfortunately just with masseuse, because I've been very solitary and have a few friend and I never had a girlfriend) but I only received handjobs and I received an unprotected insertive oral sex with the same girl one week ago. The difference of this episode is that I'm not freaked out anymore due to this situation because of the information that I found in your site and the counseling that I receive, but I just want to ask you three questions:

1. Do I have to use condom for insertive oral sex considering that I receive oral sex from a masseuse/sex worker and not from a normal girl? I know the risk is extremely low but what about if I receive a blowjob from a "high risk" person?

2. How often do I have to test If I only receive handjobs and oral sex in the last years?

3. Do I have to forget about vaginal sex? because this is the most dangerous sexual activity

I'm going to test in 3 month just to make sure that everything is Ok. It seems that because my mental health improved in the last month I'm starting to enjoy sex again but with a few concerns because I want to be healthy to do graduate studies in engineering the next year in the U.S. and keep on going with my plans in life. Thank you Dr. Bob for answer my question and I'm going to send a donation to your foundation in the next days and support local organization in my country thanks to the information of this disease that I found in your site.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Welcome back to the forum. I'm glad to hear you found my advice helpful and that you are now receiving appropriate care for your schizophrenia.

1. I agree the risk of HIV transmission/acquisition from insertive oral sex is extremely low. (This includes both low- and high-risk individuals.) The choice of whether to use a condom for insertive oral sex remains a personal one. Some people are not willing to accept any degree of risk and therefore use a condom. Others feel the risk is so slight that they are comfortable not using a condom. The choice remains yours.

2. Most guidelines would recommend STD screening, including HIV testing, every six months for sexually active folks with multiple partners.

3. Why forget about vaginal sex? If a latex or polyurethane condom is used properly and doesn't break, the HIV risk would be essentially nonexistent. By the way vaginal sex is not the "most dangerous." Unprotected anal receptive sex holds that distinction!

Thank you for your donations to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( They are warmly appreciated.

Continue to play safe and you'll stay safe, OK?

Be well. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

blood taken at AIDS clinic
I will donate $50 USD for Answer. Confused and worried

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